How to help BF's son thru the grief

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
How to help BF's son thru the grief
12
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 8:44pm

BF and exW have been divorced for several years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 12:40pm

you are welcome :-D

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 3:20pm
Promise, you have such good advice, thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:26pm

Hi,
I am so sorry for all the pain that everyone will be going through now ExW has passed away. There would never have been good time for it to happen but sometimes it is better to think how much pain everyone was spared. The pain exW would have been enduring and the pain of BF and his son in watching it. I am just so very sorry.

It is going to be a long and rocky road for you all but you sound like you will be as supportive to the both of them as you can and that will mean more to them than you will ever know.

I have no idea how this will affect your relationship with BF. It could just as well make it stronger than ever so don't assume it will push you apart. Your BF may go through a stage where he seems to push you away but his may well be that, like a lot of bereaved people, he is scared to love and be close to you because he is afraid of losing you. It is a very real fear for many people. I went through it myself. I was so afraid that I would love someone so deeply then they would be taken from me. I tried to distance myself to prevent that happening but nature wins in the end.

Just remember we are here to support you through this as well as we are able.

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 6:12pm

As an update to this sad situation BF's exW came home to hospice care Friday and BF told me he booked a flight to come home this coming Wednesday figuring that exW and sons and hospice workers would be in a pattern by then.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 6:31am
~hugs~
Thanks Promise, I really appreciated that, more than you will ever know.
<3
Nightangel
Nightangel
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 6:29am
I believe they are very Lucky to have you be part of their Lives.
Nightangel
Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 3:14pm

Hi,
you have the best gift already that will help you help your bf and his son. Sensitivity combined with common sense. It won't be a easy ride as bereavement never is but they will come through this. It will take time but healing does take place.

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 3:11pm

~hug~ Anniversaries are hard Night Angel. I hope you are doing as ok as you can right now.

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 1:42pm

Hi Night Angel,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 1:33pm

Hi Promise, thank you for your post.

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