Anniversary Blues

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Anniversary Blues
3
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 3:58pm

My 41 year old daughter died 5 years ago today and I still miss her. She lived nearby and we had a close relationship. She was separated from her husband and had a son. He was 17 at the time, now 22 and in college. I have missed her a great deal but have managed to get on with my life and try my best to help her son. He basically lost his family. Today I am allowing myself to wallow in grief and remembrances. For years I could hardly look at her picture or write much about her because the hurt was deep. Today I am going to try to write down some of the important things leading up to that dreadful day. After this long of a time facts are fading so I want to write down as much as I can recall and put them with her letters and papers. Maybe I will never look at them again or maybe on some other anniversary I might read it. Maybe some day her son will be interested.

For all you newly grieving people know that in time your grief lessens but you never forget your loved one. You will learn to smile again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 3:17pm

Hi,
welcome to the board. Thank you so much for posting. It is always very comforting when we can see from others that we do come through this in the end.

I think it is so important that we give ourselves full permission to grieve so that we can eventually move forward and heal. I think it is a good idea to write things down so that they can be read over and remembered or just shared with others. My SIL is now doing a scrapbook for her children about their daddy. We all are going to contribute to it, stories of our childhood, holidays, funny stories, sad stories and how we all felt when he passed away. They are probably far to young as yet but hopefully in time they will be able to read it and know how loved their daddy was and still is and what he was like. As you said, things can fade.

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 4:47am

Sandy: I am sorry on your loss of your daughter and I think that is beautiful of you recording some memories to keep her alive in your grandson's memory.



My Mom died this past May, Dad a lot longer ago in 1993, but just now doing yoga, I was reminded that Oct 18th is their wedding anniversary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 3:03pm

Hi Josie,

I think they do celebrate these in Heaven. It is rather a comforting thought for me.

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie