"Boyfriend's" Death

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
"Boyfriend's" Death
3
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:30pm

Hello



My name is Rachel. I have never written to an online support group.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 3:15pm

Hi Rachel,
welcome to the board. I am so very sorry for your loss.

You know, there is no one way to grieve. Definitely we can't say some one isn't grieving the right way. We all have our own way of facing the death of a loved one and I will be different from you, you will be different from another person. Mourning our loss is a unique process as we mourn the loss of our relationship with that person. I will explain it this way. My brother committed suicide but my parents mourn their son, his wife her husband, his children their daddy and my other siblings mourn their brother. So you see , lots of us bereaved but in different ways. Who is to pass judgement on how we mourn or the depth of our feelings for that person. Your bereavement is between you and Mark.

I don't think it really matters if Mark was your BF or a friend who was a boy, for you the loss must be devasting. But you loved him and love doesn't need a title because the pain is going to be just the same for you and I am so sorry for that.

I think that as far as his family are concerned it may well be painful for them to have you around because his death was the end of their dreams just as it ended your dreams. They may need extra time to absorb this in their own way and own time. I know that is extra hard on you when you also need someone to lean on.

Don't feel you are alone. We are here to talk to. The boards will be read only for a few days while we swap over to the new layout but we will be back so come and lean on us.

In Gentleness,

Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 12:53pm

Thank you



Mark was my entire life. I did everything with him in mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 2:37pm

~hug~. Sweetie, you don't need the validation of his friends to say you are or are not suffering. My own personal belief is that Mark is watching over you and he knows you loved him. Life will be hard to move forward but it will happen , it just takes time. I know what you mean about wanting the extra time with Mark. I can only tell you what my brother said to me when Luke passed away. Would the pain be any the less for an extra few moments, a day, a month? I know my brother was right.

Maybe you feel isolated by your treatment by others, bereavement does strange things to people. It could be they were jealous of your closeness to Mark, it could be they just don't know how to react to you now Mark has passed away. People are so complex and they confuse me at the best of times.

We are always here when you need to talk but the board will become read only tonight for a few days as iVillage is going through a changeover. We will be back though.

In gentleness
Promise













siggy by hubbswifey...Katie


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2010
Thu, 10-14-2010 - 7:08pm

I am having a hard day and I didn't know what to do-so I thought I would come here.

I miss Mark so horribly, I don't know how to function.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 9:34am

((((Rachel))))

I know you're hurting, and it's normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 10-16-2010 - 4:37pm

~hug~