My mom placing blame on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
My mom placing blame on me.
5
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 10:43am
I haven't been here for a while, probably somewhat months or close to a year, but I'm having a bit of an issue at home. Whenever I go out and my mom asks me to purchase something, I do, but sometimes it's not the one she wants. Mainly not the regular brand. The reason being is that if there sold out or if she doesn't explain to me the exact one she wants. Which is what occured lastnight. Lastnight she asked me to get some bandaids at the dollerstore. She wanted the sizable ones for her leg, not her toes, like upper thigh. I saw different kinds so I didn't know what exactly she wanted. I called and asked and she said get the one for finger cuts, but then also said it's for her foot. So I said ok. I looked around and still couldn't choose one. I called back again and said they don't have them. She asked me how come? And asked what kinds are there, I told her well there's elastic ones. I said it's for your leg right? The finger ones were too small. She said get which ever one. I had a feeling there'd be a problem when I got home, so I called back a third time and asked again. I said what exactly do you want because there's so many different kinds. She said get the finger ones. So I picked up 2 boxes. A box of the finger ones and the elastic one since I thought the elastic ones were better for her upper leg. Plus she already said the finger ones were too small. When I got home apparently it was wrong. She started yelling saying one says latex and she doesn't know if she should use it. Asking me why'd I buy it? Causing an argument. This isn't the first time it's happened. There are times when she asks me to buy other products such as a grocery product and it's sold out. It's my fault if it's sold out. Why? I bought the wrong one. If the regular kind is sold out, what am I suppose to get?? I asked her if she wants to maintain a relationship with me. She says ofcourse. I said then stop blaming me all the time. She started laughing, I said I'm serious it's not funny. I walked away, after a second or two she says she's sorry. After I called three times to confirm she shouldn't be blaming me. It's not like I didn't call and ask.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 10:47pm

I went through a similar situation with my dad.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 8:48pm
Thats true, most of the time the problem isn't you. The other person is feeling insecure. But, with me I'm not an only child. I have a younger sister and my mom doesn't react that way to her. Only me when I buy the wrong product. This is my fault though, I'm to blame. Simply because I've always been passive. From the time I was I guess thirteen fourteenish, my early teens weren't good years. They weren't good all the way up until last year I guess. I'm 25. So I think it has to do with personality maybe? And my sister is nowhere near passive so ya. I actually just started standing up for myself sadly. And my mom sees it. Unfortunately, it's a goal I'm still working on. Now, I'm not saying your passive. Just that for me, it's the only reason I can think of why my mom does that
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:26pm

I'm anything but passive, as a matter of fact my dad and I would butt heads a lot as I got older.



I don't know your mother but could it be that you were the only one she could count on to do exactly what she said, no matter what it was and not question and now she feels threatened that your taking that power away from her?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 12:36pm
Ok. I'll try, thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 4:48pm
The boards are going read-only tonight until the updated boards are up and running on October 5th but I'd like to know how things are working out for you.


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