Advice needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Advice needed
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 2:05pm

Today I am at a loss. I just don't know how to help this friend.

I have a friend who's really struggling with moving to a new area and has no friends. She admittedly tends to rattle off too much information when she meets new people, so she's angry at herself for what she calls, "Sabotaging a new friendship". She told me today, that she just wished she didn't come off as some desperate crazy person, but that she feels that's exactly what she did. She has always been a good friend when I've needed her, but today I feel at a loss as to how to advise her. She's asking me, what she should do.

Any thoughts??

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Avatar for cl_coldfingers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: braselton
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:05pm

Has she already moved?

Avatar for maryaz1866
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
In reply to: braselton
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 8:44pm

Having moved several times and found myself feeling lonely and sometime just a bit desperate for someone to talk to. Tell you friend to relax and tell the people she is talking to, that sometimes she talks to much when she meets people for the first time. Just be friendly and most people will understand.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-1998
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 1:41pm

My husband is guilty of this type of behavior. He is new to the Pac NW where we live and doesn't have that many friends here. When I've taken him to social outings with people I know, he does what your friend does.

I finally told him very lovingly what I had observed. Then I told him to try just taking a breath and thinking before speaking. Give the other person a chance to open conversation or respond back to him. It did seem to help. He finally realized he didn't need to be the "boss" of every conversation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2010
Tue, 10-12-2010 - 6:40pm

I too am guilty of this behavior and it does put some people off.

-Margaret mom to 2 girls