Terminate or Divorce, warning long
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|Fri, 09-10-2010 - 1:01am|
Hi I'm 43, married to same man for 20 years, we have 3 kids, 19,15 and 4 years.
When I got pregnant last time at 40 my hubby went through the roof, he said he did not want another child, he was ready to change careers and just kept pressuring me to have an abortion, I refused, we argued cried, had counseling, he still harassed me every day of the pregnancy. It was a relief when he got his new job and moved abroad when I was 10+ months. So I stayed behind and took on to have the baby by myself and taking care of the other 2 while working full time ( I could not fly 10+ pregnant for 16 hours). Eventually we moved to join him after 6 months. It was a shaky period for about a year to adjust to each other and a life in new country. He is now affectionate to our DD. We celebrated our 20th anniversary and we have great sex not always protected.
The reason I am writing here is that we just found out that I am pregnant 15 w. I had my periods and no morning sickness, so I thought little of it until I could feel my uterus grow.
Now he is convinced that I will terminate the baby since he "gave in" last time and "let" me keep it. I say that he has known since day 1 of our relationship that I am Christian and would never even consider an abortion since each and every life is sacred to me.
Yesterday morning he gave me an ultimatum that I have to choose between him and the baby before the end of the week. Termination or divorce!
I believe with all my heart this is a healthy baby, and I can not even consider to have an abortion. So yesterday I packed my bag and took in on a hotel, I can not bare to go through all the harassment and abuse he put me through the last pregnancy.
I have agreed to talk to him on Sunday, but have little hope of him getting out of his EGO- (money, age, time, commitment to another child ) arguments. I would just hate seeing our relationship of 20 years down the drain, we have been thorough so much and I thought our relationship was stronger than ever.
My biggest frustration is that he has not been very diligent in protecting himself. How can you have unprotected sex if your life, sanity and happiness depends on not having another child?????? :-(
And then expect ME to have a termination if it goes wrong, It's not like he doesn't know accidents happen and I get pregnant really easy. (got pregnant with our first child first time we had sex, second was planned and I got Pregnant before next period, and the third you know was not planned).
Fortunately though I am in situation where I know I can take care of myself and the kids if the worst will happen and he goes through with his threats. I will never let myself to kill a baby to keep a man. And if I would do an abortion and he still decides one day to leave me, what is the gain in all???
Last time I had family and friends near, they were all supporting my decision not to terminate. My mother in law even joined me for the delivery. Now I am far away from family, I have not even told them yet since I just found out and wanted to the scan before to see if there was any problems.
Thanks for listening