Need a shoulder to lean on

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Need a shoulder to lean on
11
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 12:30pm

I'm feeling discouraged.



I think I've mentioned what a serious baby Noah is and how he almost never smiles, right? Well, I tell you, I have to be a freaking circus clown to get this kid to smile at me... Anyway, I took him to the well baby clinic this morning to get weighed and as the nurse was walking by him (in a room full of babies) she stops and says "Boy, he's serious". He wasn't doing anything Just sitting on my lap but she singled him out. So then she starts asking if he moves his head from side to side, does tummy time, etc. Yes and yes. She walks away and then when it came time for him to get weighed she weighed him and then started asking more questions, but this time she's holding him and he's not looking her in the face (not abnormal for him, he doesn't like strangers and almost only looks me in the face). She's just chatting with him asking what's wrong, why doesn't he smile, is something hurting him, something bothering him... Now I'm a nervous wreck. What if there's something rong with him? Why did she single him out?



I asked her if I can expect a slight delay seeing as he's been through so much, plus he was 3 weeks early and she just said "he'll catch up". So, is that a yes? Because if that's the case then I'll lower my expectations and look at him as more of a 1 month old developmentally (he's 2 months today) and stop freaking out when I read about things that he "should" be doing. I mean, really he just doesn't like to look people in the face (he used to before his surgery though), he rarely smiles (maybe 3 a day) and he's quiet. He doesn't coo... He makes happy noises only a couple of times a day and once in awhile he "talks" when he's fussy...

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Sandra


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2009
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 8:04pm

Logan was very serious for a long time and I was getting concerned early on that he was not laughing or smiling. And then ... one day it just happened! Now he doesn't stop smiling or laughing. Also with having a preemie, you need to go by corrected or adjusted age with developmental milestones. Logan was a little behind and then .... he started making gains but it has taken some time.

Be patient! Keep your eye on things and if concerned, get an appointment with Early Intervention and have him screened.

~Kristin .... Mom to heavenly baby Lucas, born sleeping on 6-6-09 & Logan, born screaming on 4-30-10



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~Kristin .... Mom to heavenly baby Lucas, born sleeping on 6-6-09 & Logan, born screaming on 4-30-10


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 2:01am

Thanks! I think that even though he was "full term" he should still have a corrected age, especially considering all that he's been through! I just feel like he was sp sweet and loving before his surgery and after he seems to be so guarded... I feel so bad for him! I feel almost guilty!!!



This afternoon when DH got home Noah flashed him a great big smile. I guess he's just high maintenance in that he needs everything to be in order before he's happy: well rested, fed, diaper changed. Then he'll smile! We got a good half hour of smiles before peek-a-boo and fake sneezes just weren't cutting it anymore. It was fun and I felt like I could see him developing right before my eyes :)



I'm taking Noah for his vaccines on Thursday and though he's not a very approachable guy, I'm going to try and speak to him about my concerns. Yikes, wish me luck!

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Sandra



Mommy to Sadie (10-26-2003), Zachary (born sleeping 07-08-2009) and Noah (07-14-2010)
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Sandra


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2008
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 7:24am

I don't know if it helps at all, but my 2nd son, Eli, was nicknamed 'the professor' for his first 3 months or so because he looked so serious all the time - he hardly ever smiled.

Susan
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 8:29am

Why would that nurse say stuff like that?!

Renée


Baby Dylan - still

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:09pm

I'll add my 2cents worth. First, the nurse shouldn't have said anything.
2nd - Noah was borna t 37 weeks - he's 6 weeks for hs Due date.
He's had a tough go and is probably just catching up now. These babies had a stressful time in the womb - they just want to be hugged - I suspect he is just taking everything in.

I find that Lily just really started smilling this week - there were some elusive ones here and there but it was hard to get her to crack a smile. This week, she's smilling up a storm!

Give him a chance - he is just going to be an observer!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:34pm

Thanks ladies! I'm feeling much better about things today. Noah is starting to smile more easily and actually he was cooing a lot tonight! I really feel like this little man knows what I need and provides it wherever possible. He did it in my belly and he's doing it now!



What a wonderful baby :)



And I agree! That nurse should've kept her yap shut!

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Sandra



Mommy to Sadie (10-26-2003), Zachary (born sleeping 07-08-2009) and Noah (07-14-2010)
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Sandra


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2008
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 8:45am

Hi Sandra



I’m glad Noah is doing better!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 8:57am

Oh wow! That's funny about your co-worker... She's like Penelope on Saturday Night Live! Everything you say she has to one-up you! That would drive me insane. You know what, though? There are a million people out there who are just like that!



I agree that the nurse should have left well enough alone. She gave me a booklet on milestones and how to stimulate your baby at each stage and I think Noah's pretty much on target. This morning he smiled just from being spoken to

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Sandra


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 3:08pm

Now I am anxious b/c TJ rarely smiles at me. I can get smiles every once in a while but not all the time. Maybe it is because of his adjusted age also, and he don't like tummy time. Do ya'll think I need to be worried? I didn't think much of it and now that I have read this I do. He does look side to side and stare in your face constantly so maybe he just don't find us funny!

Glad Noah is doing better Sandra. I hate that nurse gave you a reason to worry, that is why nurses should keep their opinions to theirselves and let the doctor do the work. So glad he is smiling more now, give me some tips to make my little man smile.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 8:57pm

With TJ's adjusted age he's only like a few weeks old, isn't he? I wouldn't worry about the lack of smiles! I think boys are just slower than girls and we had girls first so we have higher expectations! I spoke to the pediatrician today and he isn't at all worried so I feel much much better! I'm attaching a pick of my handsome little man's smile that I took this morning.



Hope school isn't kicking your butt too badly! We've missed youa round here!



Take care,

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Sandra



Mommy to Sadie (10-26-2003), Zachary (born sleeping 07-08-2009) and Noah (07-14-2010)
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Sandra


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