Church playgroup....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Church playgroup....
9
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 7:52pm

Okay so 2 weeks ago I heard about a playgroup at a local church that catered to kids in the 5 and under crowd. We went and checked it out b/c there were a few woman I had met with son's the same age as Ben. Ben had alot of fun.



So- it's a weekly group, we go back today so he can hang out and have fun with the other kids.... and this time I get handed a booklet and am told we are going to discuss a topic each week on how we can teach morality through the goodness of god and improve our childs behavior through his love. UGH!!!!!



So now I'm torn... I want my son to go play with his friends and have fun, but I also don't want to be preached to each time we go. I'm having a really hard time finding a secular playgroup in my area. Should I continue to go? Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-1997
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:30pm
It's really up to you. For me, I couldn't stomach that. I'd feel like a fraud and I couldn't possibly add anything to the conversation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:42pm

I agree with the previous poster. It would bother me too much. But it would bother me to take my kid to a church play group in the first place whether there was talk of god or not!!

Then again, I probably can't really understand your position because there are tons of secular play-groups around here and tons of kids my (future) kids will be able to play with. If you live in an area where most people are religious, you'll probably have to come to terms that he's probably going to grow up having mostly or entirely religious friends if he wants to have friends at all. So maybe you just have to decide at what age he can understand when you explain to him after he leaves Church group. I think little kids can be pretty good at understanding that not everything they hear about is true. But I think they can have a hard time understanding what's okay/polite to say to other people. There may be some backlash if he pipes up with, "My mom said there are lots of different beliefs and not everyone believes in God" at this Church play group! Only you know your kids maturity level and what he can handle. To me (although I couldn't stomach it), this play group sounds pretty harmless. If it doesn't make you too uncomfortable, I say keep bringing him until it does start to make you too uncomfortable. And hopefully that won't happen.

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siggy
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Registered: 03-14-1999
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 10:55am

When my now 24yr old son was 3 & 4yrs old we sent him to a Nursery School held in a local chruch- we choose it because it was : Close to home and affordable. at 3 he attended 2 1/2 days a week and at 4 he attended 3 days a week. I know they did some religous discussions & at xmas time & easter colored religous pics (that we just disposed of) he was young enough that what they told him really made no impact. When he questioned god at home we explained that Mommy & Daddy didn't "do that" but at school it was OK. When he graduated they held the ceramony in the church and there was a small service- we attended and we all lived through it. My son is still an atheist and barely recalls attending the Nursery school - so if this is a playgroup of under 5 I really wouldn't be worried about it having any lasting effect on your son.

Kathy
Kathy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 11:35am

If you're not comfortable, then I would not go. Have you looked into the MOMS Club? Here's their official site: http://www.momsclub.org/

My local chapter isn't listed on the website, so I would recommend contacting MOMS Club International if you don't see a local club listed. It's possible the list they have posted isn't current.

The MOMS Club is not affiliated with any churches. Our group started off meeting in a local church. I'm not sure why, but I think it's because there just wasn't anywhere else for the group to meet. A couple years ago, they switched it up to be at our library's service center.

I've found some interesting groups at meetup.com, too.

What about your library? Do they have programs for kids? Ours has a story time twice a week for the younger kids where they do singing, stories, and play time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 1:11pm

I'll try the momsclub

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Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:27am

Oh! I'm not sure how the other MOMS clubs work (because they are run independently), but ours had a $25 annual membership fee that helped cover things like flyers, parade entries, etc.

Good luck! I hope you find a fantastic group. It takes me a while to warm up to new people and groups too, so I get where you're coming from. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2006
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:06pm

Popping in a little late to say, "YAY, conversation here!"

Also, I couldn't do it. I tried a church preschool and simply couldn't do it. But, as others have said, they could and did and it worked for them. So, my "answer" is that it's up to your judgment.
I remember my daughter as being SO full of questions and would buy anything an "authority figure" told her...
So, with many HUGS, I still couldn't do it.
Peace,
Karen

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Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 2:57pm

I think you need to judge on your own comfort level (beyond the anxiety). If you feel like you're going to be teaching material to your child you do not agree with, then it's not the place for you. As your son ages you'll see you're in this situation a lot, not just with religion. There will be video games, cell phones, online chat, etc. You'll feel the peer pressure and have to decide what goes with your goals for raising your child.

As for social anxiety, if you want to try a supplement, may I recommend an oat extract. It's the milk taken from the oat grass while it's still in its green stage. It's full of vitamins and minerals which is known as a 'nerve tonic.' The only side effects are a head ache if you take more than what is recommended (which is a lot I think).

I have used it at times my anxiety/panic is a constant. Otherwise I find eating steel cut oats most mornings seems to help a lot.

You can get it at any health food store & some vitamin shops. Different brands use different names, (aka oat straw, wild oat, oat seed,etc) but they all use the oat word Avena Sativa somewhere on the bottle. It says to take with water - I cannot stand the smell (sort of a yeast type smell), so I put into a shot glass of orange juice.

Keep going out, even if you don't talk to people on some days. The more you shut yourself in the worse it will become.

Sorry to take this thread into another direction. I just know the guilt a mother can feel due to her own anxieties.

Peace






"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."


~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng



"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2000
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 12:20pm
actually, ask the childrens' librarian, too. Often they're keyed into playgroup type things. I joined the moms group at our local catholic church actually - NO religion went on there, lol. So you might just try different churches. Maybe your local UU church even has a playgroup (our UU congregation is probably more than half atheist/agnostic)
Otherwise, just meeting moms (at the park,at the grocery, whatever) & forming your own playgroup, alternating homes, might be an option as well