married and donor DI question

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Registered: 08-04-2008
married and donor DI question
11
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 1:00pm

How many of you are married but had to do donor sperm?

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Avatar for cl_packersrnumber1
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 9:44pm

Welcome to our board.

jhscalis@wisc.edu

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 10:17am

My dh was exactly the same way.

Depending on when he got the Diagnosize, I'd do two things.

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Registered: 08-04-2008
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 10:18pm
Thank you so much!

Actually he's coming around to the idea already. We want to make doubly sure there is nothing he can do since that is our first choice, but he agrees that it makes the most sense to have DI as our second choice and then adoption as our third. There also may be something wrong with me too. I have PCOS and wacky cycles that are either way short or way long, but i haven't had any medicated cycles since we checked DH first and got his result.

I am happy to hear its gone well for you. I just don't want my husband to ever think the baby is not *his*.

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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Registered: 11-29-2005
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 10:28pm
Keep in mind - being a parent is SOOOOOO much more than the brief moment of conception, or even than the 9 months of gestation. Parenthood is the nights with no sleep comforting a fussy baby, the joy of seeing the little smiles and hearing the laughs, months of poopy diapers and - when training - wet and dirty clothes, the hugs of comfort and the hugs of joy, the first day of school, the first love, the first breakup, talking about the facts of life, "just say no," the waiting up at night for your teen to come home, walking your "baby" down the aisle, and in the far future, helping take care of grandchildren. THAT'S what makes a parent, not who donated the sperm or the egg :)

 


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Registered: 06-30-2005
Sun, 10-10-2010 - 8:28am

I think that if he is willing to adopt then he will eventually be open to donor sperm/eggs. I agree with Spencer that being a parent is more than just donating the DNA and if being a parent is really what he wants then eventually he will be at peace with it and do what is necessary to have that child. That is what helped me decide to move forward with donor eggs. Ultimately if this doesn't work then that will be what gets us to move forward to adoption too since again we know that ultimately we want to be a parent and it doesn't matter how we get there.

Good luck!

Carolyn

Too many IUI’s, IVF’s and failed attempts to count.

TTC #1 since 2005
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Registered: 11-14-2008
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 7:38pm

gespenst

That was a wonderul post. I have been struggling with this as we are about to approach # 3 and your post has brought me some comfort tonight. :-}

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
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Registered: 11-29-2005
Wed, 10-13-2010 - 8:13pm
((((hugs)))) I'm glad I could help :)

 


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Registered: 02-03-2010
Fri, 10-15-2010 - 2:00pm

Hi there!

Leslie Finally welcomed baby Stella on 2/25/2011 after 3+ years of TTC!
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Registered: 11-14-2008
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 5:36pm

Great Story Leslie. I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! hearing stories like that .

IVF#1 March 2010 GonalF, Cetrotide, Menopur.
23 follicles 19 eggs 13 mature 7 fertilized 2 blasts none to freeze. No Pregnancy.
IVF#2 July 2010 Lupron Gonal F Menopur
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 5:23pm

Thanks Leslie!

Elizabeth (31) DH (36) TTC #1 since July 2008

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