First encounters with grades...tips?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2009
First encounters with grades...tips?
2
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 6:08pm
My oldest two, 11 year old L and 10 year old (since today!) Y have been attending a Montessori school till grade 6. They accelerated which ended in 'skipping' 1 and 2 grades so this year they both started 7th grade on a combined middle/high school. For the first time they have homework, and tests that are graded. L has been fine with Y being in the same grade as her (they're in parallel classes, so they can still make their own friends etc.), but after the first test-results came back I'm a bit worried. For Latin L got a C, Y got a straight A. Y also got another straight A back for history, L thinks she didn't do too well on that one... I know L likes to adjust to the level of the class, and she doesn't want to attract too much attention. So she doesn't see as A as something desirable. We talked how a C is ok, but it is a sign she has to learn precisely and better. She brushes it off... Hard after years of tempering their perfectionism to now have everything expressed in exact grades. Do I keep a low profile for now? Or should I jump on this right from the start? L is the type to just zone out if you try to explain something to her and she doesn't feel like it or she's already made her own 'mental model' (wether it's the correct model or not). She seems indifferent to what her sister does compared to her, that's good. But how do I know that's not just an 'attitude' to cover up for deeper feelings...
Any words of wisdom?








Suzanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2009
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 6:15pm
Cathie, thanks for your reaction. I'm wondering how your daughters deal with differences in grades, since they're in the same grade as well. Does the one you wrote about care less because she's never doing as well as the other? My DDs both got admitted to their new school, which is high level education for kids of IQs of 120 or higher, who achieve well. II think for my oldest it has to be difficult to see how her little sister doesn't work as hard as she does, not by far, yet gets higher grades. The grades make it so 'visible' if you understand what I mean. In Montessori school it was all about what materials were done already and what not, but that could always be chalked up to personal preference etc. Now they both have to follow one program and the differences get visible. DD L *is* highly gifted, she's been tested with an IQ above 150 as result. DD Y has been tested only at a very young age, so we have no IQ number for her, but well...she always surpasses her big sis...she's so eager to show her abilities whereas DD L wants to blend in. I just wish I could tell how much of this has to do with her little sister and if there's anything I should or can do as a parent to guide her...








Suzanne
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-1999
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 9:38pm

I have fraternal twin girls. They are 12 yrs old in 8th grade. In 6th grade, one of them really didn't care about grades etc. I had to push a bit to get her into advanced math in 7th grade. When she realized how close she came to not getting into the math class she wanted and the one her friends would be in, that provided the push she needed to focus her on her grades.

I just told her I wouldn't interfere with school placement again. If she didn't test into or earn her spot in the advanced classes, she wouldn't be in them.

So with your dd you might want to approach it that she may not be able to continue on to the next level if she can't show mastery of the current class material. That it is out of your hands it's in the school's hands. She has to prove it to them.

Now if she is doing her best, that's a whole different story.

Cathie mom to Audrey & Emily 12 yrs, Libby 2 yrs.
Cathie, mom to Audrey & Emily 12 yrs, Libby 2 yrs