Lonely and Sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Lonely and Sad
3
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 6:49pm
Hi Everyone! It's Saturday night and I have nowhere to go or no one to see. It's my ex's birthday today. I was going to call him to wish him a happy birthday, but then I remembered how mean he was during our divorce and decided against it. I feel very lonely. I have gained so much weight since going on psych meds that I feel no one will ever love me again. I hate the side effects of these meds. My doctor switched one of mine to all in the p.m. to half in the a.m. and half at night. All I do is sleep until 12 pm and feel drowsy all day. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday a.m. and almost got in a car accident because I was so tired. How do ya'll deal with the side effects of your meds? I try to keep a positive attitude, but it's hard...... God I'll be glad when I can get to a happy place in my life. Thanks for listening - Hope you all are having a good evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 8:02pm
Sorry to hear you are having a bad night. You are very wise to not call your ex since he was so nasty to you during your divorce. Sometimes because we are lonely we will do almost anything to not feel lonely and even make ourselves forget why we left our ex's and then call them only to find out they are still buttholes. If your meds are making you so tired you can't function then you should speak to your pdoc about that. See if he can adjust your dosages on your meds or try something else that won't cause so much drowsyness. I can't stand to be tired all the time but I have my times more frequent than not that I am so tired. I don't really think it is from my meds but just me. I have had problems with feeling tired all the time since I was a teen, except for when I am manic.

Someone will love you no matter what your size is. The right person will. The wrong person will judge you and you don't want that person anyway. When I started dating after I left my ex, which was about 5 years after I left him. I hated men for a while and didn't trust them as far as I could throw them. Anyway, I was bigger then I was when i left my ex and I was more then just a few pounds bigger. I was about 50 lbs bigger. I thought this is going to take some work trying to find a man who will date a 'big' woman. Well I didn't really have too much of a hard time finding someone to date me but it was hard finding a good man with a brain and a good sense of humor. I did however find my boyfriend now from a phone line where you can get to know people and see if you want to meet up. I know that was a scary thing but I was very careful and picky. I dated about 10 men from there, mostly one night dates and I knew they weren't the one. Some I would not even finish the date and say I wasn't feeling well. I know they knew that wasn't true but they went along with the line I fed them anyway. My point being you can and will find someone when you are ready and there is nothing wrong with being picky even if you are a little over weight or alot overweight. This is your life and you desreve to be happy. I knew first I had to like myself alot more before I could date and work on my trust issues and that is what took me 5 yrs to do before I could date. I hope I haven't bored you to death already...LOL.

Take sometime to work on you and do thing you want to do with your life. Take a class or work on your favorite hobbies or make up a hobby if you don't already have one. Pamper yourself and be good to you. It can be a challenge to find our happy place and then trying to keep at a happy place is a struggle too but you can do it. We can change things in our lives and the way we view them but it takes time and patience with ourselves. I tell myself this alot but sometimes I even have a hard time believing that stuff when I am way down low and then I come here to the board and some nice friend here picks me up. I love this board and the ladies here and I am glad I have met you. You hang in there and post as often as you need to. Remember to talk to your pdoc about your meds making you so sleepy. I know that is frustrating. Let us all know how you are doing and what your pdoc said about your meds.


Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 10:24pm
I, too, am sorry to hear how down you've been feeling. Is there some way that we can turn your NOT calling your ex for his birthday into something positive? Like maybe something like treating or allowing yourself to something nice for yourself for celebrating an un-birthday? Do you have a girlfriend you can call to go out with? Or if not, if you're like me and don't have anyone to call or you don't WANT to go out, find a good book, or a tv show or movie to watch and find something good to eat . Sometime when we're going through our/my depression, we're/I'm the first one's to forget to try and look at both sides of the picture. I guess that's why they call this an illness, huh? But that's also why the boards are here, for us to share when we're down.

About the meds that you're taking that are making you so tired... Did you just start taking them or have you been on them for awhile? If they're new, sometimes the side effects are only temporary but will get better within a week or two. But sometimes the side effects won't go away. So if that's the case, you definitely need to let your dr. know. Like most of the people I know had no problems taking depakote; but me, I had all kinds of problems with it, not just one or two side effects. You can't pay me enough money to try taking that drug again!

I wish I could help with the relationships, but that isn't my strong point. With having been emotionally abused in my marriage and divorced when I couldn't take it any more, and having been sexually abused as a teen and again twice since then, include rape, as well as relationships that haven't worked out, I have problems with trust. Though I can talk with people easily enough, I tend to keep people I meet at a distance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 8:39am
Hey! I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and lonely....Been there done that! Just recently started feeling better, so hang in there, okay? What meds are you on??? I just wanted to say hi and let you know you weren't alone and I'm here for you!

If you want to talk more, just let me know, okay?

Many hugs!!!

Keli