Considering keeping it to just 3...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Considering keeping it to just 3...
11
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 2:51pm

I have been a long time Ivillager, but never on this board. I am Andrea and my daughter, Elizabeth just turned one. I had an amazing pregnancy and birth and love being a SAHM now since I worked full time for most of her infancy. My DH doesn't want anymore children and I *think* I want another one or two (like that would happen!), but I am trying to see his point of view before pushing the issue further.

I would love to know some of the benefits that you have all experienced with an Only besides some of the obvious ones. I am doing my best to truly and carefully consider this decision since I know how important this is to my DH.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 7:17pm

I'm sure you have considered the obvious.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:36pm

I had always wanted 2 kids and thought DH would be ok with that also. We waited until we were married for 5 years before having Paige mostly because we were apart much of those first 5 years due to the military and I had no interest in raising a child on my own and he didn't want to miss out! I was blessed with 2 step children so that helped us decide to only have one more, but I still to this day yearn for another child....but I'm content borrowing friends children when I need a baby fix and I'll soon be a Grandma from my DH's oldest daughter, she's due in December!

It is a more difficult decision for some than others. I know in my heart it wouldn't be good for me to try and have another child with my health conditions, I'm also not mentally strong enough to go through another round of post pardon depression and stay off my depression medication while pregnant. Paige will be 9 in July and the thought of starting over with a baby isn't my idea of fun.

Paige is at a very fun age, we are very active in Girl Scouts and it's nice not having to split myself between children when it comes to activities. She has a lot of "sisters" in Girl Scouts I don't feel she is lacking from being an only child. We are very close and I hope it continues as she grows older. She's already been asking when she's going to get breasts, some of her older friends are starting to develop (they started in 3rd grade!!!) and I'm so not ready for this stage but I guess I'll have to!

Hope to see you around some more, I try to get over here more often :)

Jodi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 5:24am

Hi there



My only is now ten.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:03am

Thanks everyone so far for sharing your personal stories, it's very helpful!

I lived in England for almost 3 yrs, but moved back to the US with my British hubby in 2008, so my daughter is a dual-passport baby, and will get to see England this December!

I miss living there.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2002
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:54am
Looks like we should be saying Happy Birthday to your DD today!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-1999
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 10:03am

Hi, Andrea! When's

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 10:46am

We have an only by choice. My DH would probably have another if I said I wanted to but I'm sure I'm done and he's okay with that.

In our house we use the two yes and one no rule. Any major decision needs both of us to say yes to or it doesn't happen. It works for us really well. It also means that if one of us has strong feelings against something they really get heard.

Our son is 3.5 (he'll be 4 in December) and we LOVE it. It's easier to go places or get a sitter. It allows DH and I time to be a couple more than families I've seen with more kids. For us it means that all our resources are invested in one child too (and that's more than just money).

I have a brother who's 3 1/2 years younger than I am and we are not close, we never were even as kids. We're just very different people. So having a sibling doesn't guarantee a playmate or friend for life either.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 1:07pm

Hi Andrea,

I'm Amy, married for 13 years this month (dh is an Only), and our son is an Only by choice. He is 11 years old.

We love being a family of three! We are very close and I love that. I think the best benefit for us is that we have enough time, energy, and financial resources to enjoy ourselves without constantly feeling pulled in another direction. The older Travis gets, the busier he gets, but I love that we can make it work without one parent having to run one kid here while the other parent runs another kid there, etc. I know that works for some families but I am so glad it's not me!!

Travis gets along well with just about everyone and has lots of friends. He has never expressed much interest in wanting a sibling. He's not shy, selfish, or socially awkward. For us, I would say the only "down side" to him being an Only is that he does want us to do a lot of things with him, but I really don't look at that as a negative! I know that may change as he gets older, but for now I really enjoy that he actually likes hanging out with us. :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 12:03pm

Hi Andrea and welcome!



I'm Sharon with my only Luke who is 6. He

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2009
Mon, 09-20-2010 - 2:42pm
Hi! I'm Becky (35), married to Dan(34) and my DS will be 7 months old tomorrow.


 

 




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