Nanny Questions

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Nanny Questions
2
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 3:21am

Hi all,
I think I need to just blow off some steam. We are in our 4th week with our nanny for Mack and I find myself a little irritated and wondered if I am being nit-picky...

First, it is hard for me to have someone in my house with my baby when I am not home. That has been a hard transition for me. I like my way and in my home it is hard for me to accept otherwise. So I'm am transitioning along with Mack.

We pay her $100 a day which is very expensive for here. She doesn't bring a lunch and eats our food which is weird to me. She makes pots of coffee in the morning here. Is this odd? It feels odd to me.

I'm trying to look past these things because the care is good, but I find myself getting weird about it all. I know I should just have a talk with her, but you know how you just feel annoyed when you have to talk to people about this kind of stuff? Don't leave the diapers in that trash can, don't leave lights on in the house all day, don't eat our food...I sound like such a nag. I hate that!

Sorry...I just don't know how to handle this all. She is very young and I guess I should have thought through all the aspects of having someone in our house.

Avatar for ineedicecream
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2005
In reply to: annieg99
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 3:37am

Hi Annie,

I don't have experience with a nanny, but as with any business relationship, are you guys scheduled to have any review period scheduled? Like sit down and talk after 30 days or 60 days or what not, to go over what works and doesn't work with the current situation and suggestions on how to move forward? That might be the easiest way to bring up these topics, since it can be framed as a "business" meeting and thus be viewed as more objective and less "nagging"? Schedule it with her in advance, like say "let's have a review meeting in 2 weeks" so you both have a chance to make pros and cons lists to go over.

As to whether or not you're being nit-picky, I don't think so. It's your house and Mack is your child and anyone working for you should be doing so within your set of rules -- as long as those rules are clearly defined and agreed to by both parties. If the nanny's really young, it may just be as simple as her not realizing these things she's doing are bothering you, and a simple review talk could clear it up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: annieg99
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 6:46am

ok no personal experience with nannies but do have a friend who did it and also a coworker girlfriend is a live in one and for some reason i got the impression that food was sort of implied since they made the meals for the kids they ate them too. The friend was a nanny it was preschool and school age kids i believe it was a few years ago, now at one point she was on this weight loss plan so she did bring a lunch but i want to say when she wasnt she ate what she made for the kids, and i know the coworker always makes comments how good his girl has it, she's live in and he always makes comments on her getting a place to live and food and makes what he makes and then she lectures him about buying his lunch (ok he's a bit of a prick too so we are only getting half the story) anyway what I am getting at is I am wondering if the food was an expectation??? did she nanny before maybe that was the set up and if it wasn't addressed at the hiring stage she might be assuming its ok. Did you get her from an agency??? this might be something you can inquire there just as an FYI is food a given. Different areas may have different standards...



the other stuff, like any job a person should expect to get a review and even if its all good a person has a right to now if they are or are not living up to their bosses expectations. I've been in work situations where you never got reviews, course they had no problem telling you when you messed up but never offered praise, we've had issues at my work where they now do quarterly or half year reviews (depending on the position) just so you know where you stand and its helpful to know what your boss is thinking and this really is the same thing. If she is doing something you don't like she won't know if you don't mention it. i'm sure she won't be offended if you call for a sit down. its been a month its expected for a transition for all people involved. if it was me i probably would be honest with her. this is new to me, bear with me, not used to people in my house etc....but above all remember she is an employee and that line needs to be clear and part of that employee/employer relationship should be following rules. This is also a work place setting and all works have dos and don'ts so maybe its time to set out those, in a friendly manner of course and again where i would add this is for me....



one other thing to keep in mind, when it comes to our kids no one will be perfect and sometimes that can effect how we view things...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2006
In reply to: annieg99
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 12:06pm

Annie,



I had two nannies in a year and 1/2 time span and its funny how different people are.

siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2008
In reply to: annieg99
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:02am

Hi, Annie-



It sounds like maybe before the nanny started, there wasn't a discussion about your expectations and rules.

fallreena1.png picture by reena102

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 7:45pm

Annie,

We're on the 2nd live in nanny.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Sat, 10-09-2010 - 2:20am

Thanks to all who have replied to me!