I DO NOT trust my Tdoc.

Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
I DO NOT trust my Tdoc.
7
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 5:39pm

Hi all.


Today I had a appointment with my Tdoc. I have only seen her a handful of times,but today she said something that made the warning bells go off inside my head. She said that her and another therapist had talked about me. In what way I am not sure. I don't know if my name was used or not,but after hearing that I decided that there was no way I would be sharing any of my thoughts

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 12:04am

It sounds like your Tdoc is not a good match for you. And that happens. My first Tdoc pissed me off during the first session and after about 4 sessions I was a nervous wreck, but of course I didn't feel I had the right to fire her. After all, I was the sick one, right? It wasn't until a friend/mentor suggested that maybe I should try someone else that I asked a friend for a recommendation, and was lucky

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 12:09am
Cyn:

I would call the officer in charge of the clinic, because you have a legitimate right to know what was going on. If she was just talking about you, she was WAY out of rights. However, I know that when I was seeing a tdoc, it was common practice (which was explained to me up front) for the therapists to discuss their patients on a regular basis (usually in a weekly or monthly meeting) to cover what was happening with the patient and to verify that they were on the right track with them. It was a way for them to help each other with diagnosis and treatment options if they were having issues with a patient.

For her to just casually mention that she was discussing you with a co-working seems odd to me though.

I DO agree with you on the point that you can't just NOT be angry about being sick. I think of how long it took me to stop being angry about being bi-polar and that is all that I am struggling with. To have all the ailments you fight with and be still as young as you are would be terrible and I would feel horribly shafted.

Yes, it would probably be good for you to have someone to talk to about things going on in your life, but you have to be able to trust the person - if you can't then what good are they??

I hope things go well for you!!!

Tracey

Avatar for redhedjess
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 12:28am
Hi Cyn,

I'm so sorry to hear you're so upset. Reading your post made me think of a few things, here's my take on it:

As someone who's been seeing a therapist for more than 2 years (plus a Pdoc), I can totally relate to getting angry about things that are said. I actually don't really like my therapist - she's VERY psycho-analytic (all that Freudian stuff) and basically blames everthing on my mother. I continue to go because I basically just need someone to complain to. She actually maybe says two sentences the entire hour. It's really just me venting. But, it's normal to have strong reactions to therapy. It can actually make people MORE angry and MORE depressed, because you're forced to confront issues that you may have kept closed up otherwise. I have gotten some good things out of therapy - I've come to understand the motivations behind some things that I do that make me unhappy....I just haven't seemed to be able to get to the point where I actually change those things.

Ok, as far as her talking to another therapist....Well, I think that's actually common. I don't think that names are used (or, ethically, they should not be), but it's common for therapists to bounce things off another person in their field. I know that my pdoc goes to professional meetings monthly with other doctors, and asks them questions about me and my meds if she thinks another opinion would be helpful. I know she does not use my name though (she's told me). My advice here would be to speak to your pdoc about their privacy policy in the clinic. If it really upsets you, speak with whoever is in charge of the clinic, and find out if it's possible to not have your sessions shared with anyone else in the clinic. If their policy is to always share cases, then maybe you should find another therapist in another office. My tdoc has her office in her home and doesn't work directly with any other tdocs or pdocs, so I know that in her case she doesn't really share things with anyone else. Maybe that kind of arrangement might make you feel better.

Just another random thought - tdocs vary a LOT. Some are more pushy and will give you advice, or say things like "You should let go of that anger", but others will only listen and help interpret your thoughts. My tdoc, for example, has never told me how I should feel - if I tell her that I think it's stupid I'm angry about something, she'll tell me it's not stupid and help me to explore other things that may explain why I'm angry. This method takes a loooot longer to get things resolved, but it's probably more helpful in the long run. I like the fact that my pdoc is more the advice type and will tell me when she thinks something I'm doing is mentally unhealthy - sometimes I need that little push. Maybe this tdoc is just not a good match for you.

And I understand how un-fun it is to have your life consumed by doctor appointments - I have at least one a week, usually more, and trying to fit them all in with classes and work is hard. I'm so sorry you're having so many health problems....I have many minor things that creep up and force me to deal with them, and that's enough to make me want to give up on medication and doctors, so I'm sure it's even harder for you.

Sorry this has gotten so long! I hope all this helps a little.

*hugs*

Jessica


Edited 10/28/2004 12:33 am ET ET by redhedjess

Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 2:57pm

Hi Sue,


Thank you for your advice. I saw my Pdoc and I told him how I felt about my Tdoc. He said that I might want to try one more session with her, as we are still going through the "getting to know each

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Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 3:14pm

Hi Tracey,


Thank you for your insight.


I told my Pdoc what happened and he thinks I should give it one more try. He said that we are still in the "getting to know each other phase" I am supposed to see her again in 2 weeks. Whether or not I will see is based on how I feel at the time. I am not sure if they do have meetings to discuss cases,but I will be sure to ask if that is common practice. If it is not common practice, all you know what will break loose,because I will not stop until I feel

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Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 3:29pm

Hi Jess,


You made a lot of good observations in your post. There were some things you said that I hadn't thought of. I did talk with my Pdoc about privacy,and he assured me that my privacy is his number 1 priority. He

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 9:45pm

Cyn,