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| Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:46am |
I went to see my pdoc today. I just went last week but needed to go again. He still doesn't want to change my Wellbutrin right now but he did increase my Lamictal from 150 to 175 for a week and then 200 mg the second week and he will keep me at 200mg for awhile to see how it works. He also gave me ativan for anxiety. He said he didn't want me to stop the Seraquel yet. He wants me to give it a couple of weeks for the sadation to subside and he feels it will help with my mood swings. Right now I just feel depressed, tearful, and tired. I figure I will go along with what he says for now. He said my Dx's is Bipolar with mixed episodes. He said I have mixed episodes often and that is what is probably contibuting to my depression. I don't even know what to think anymore. None of this is making much sense to me. I just want to feel better. I hate this illness and of course my pdoc reminded me how I will have to live with this all my life...thanks for the reminder I told him...that was uplifting. He said we need to get this illness more manageable...yea like I don't already know that. Why can't I get stable? I wish I could get stable enough to go to work but that doesn't seem to be going to happen. Just getting out of bed some days is torture. Dealing with my BF and my DD is enough to deal with. I can't imagine dealing with other people at a job and there personalities and attitudes with my mood swings. I am fighting for disability and that doesn't seem to be going to happen, my next hearing date is December 28th. What is my future going to be like...so far it doesn't look that great but I guess I have to just take what I can get with each new day. I go see my tdoc today also at 1:00 and hopefully that will make me feel better. I doubt it but I can hope it will.
Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.
Tina~

Email me if you want...anytime...I'll check it tonight...do you have my phone number? I'll email it to you in a minute...call me when you need me...i mean it!
Love ya,
Keli
Tina,
It really DOES get better, it just seems like it takes forever sometimes.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla