Update

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Update
3
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:46am
I went to see my pdoc today. I just went last week but needed to go again. He still doesn't want to change my Wellbutrin right now but he did increase my Lamictal from 150 to 175 for a week and then 200 mg the second week and he will keep me at 200mg for awhile to see how it works. He also gave me ativan for anxiety. He said he didn't want me to stop the Seraquel yet. He wants me to give it a couple of weeks for the sadation to subside and he feels it will help with my mood swings. Right now I just feel depressed, tearful, and tired. I figure I will go along with what he says for now. He said my Dx's is Bipolar with mixed episodes. He said I have mixed episodes often and that is what is probably contibuting to my depression. I don't even know what to think anymore. None of this is making much sense to me. I just want to feel better. I hate this illness and of course my pdoc reminded me how I will have to live with this all my life...thanks for the reminder I told him...that was uplifting. He said we need to get this illness more manageable...yea like I don't already know that. Why can't I get stable? I wish I could get stable enough to go to work but that doesn't seem to be going to happen. Just getting out of bed some days is torture. Dealing with my BF and my DD is enough to deal with. I can't imagine dealing with other people at a job and there personalities and attitudes with my mood swings. I am fighting for disability and that doesn't seem to be going to happen, my next hearing date is December 28th. What is my future going to be like...so far it doesn't look that great but I guess I have to just take what I can get with each new day. I go see my tdoc today also at 1:00 and hopefully that will make me feel better. I doubt it but I can hope it will.

Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there.

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: firelightshimmer
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 10:50am
Tina...honey, don't you give up...you hang in there and fight with everything you have! I'm very proud of you for going back to your pdoc today. I don't necessarily agree with his decisions, but I'm not a pdoc. All I know is my experience with Seroquel and meds...I'm glad you at least got some Ativan for your anxiety. I was where you were and I'm good again...stable...working, productive...happy...finally... and you know where I was...how horribly depressed i was...some days are still fights...but i FIGHT...the depression still tries to bite my butt sometimes, but I just try not to let it...I still lay on the couch some nights and just vegetate...and that's perfectly OKAY. Just because I'm Bipolar, and stable, doesn't mean that I have to conquer the world every day. Ya know what I mean? I don't have to prove my WELLNESS to anyone. If I feel lazy, I'll be lazy...it doesn't mean I'm breaking down again. It took me 3 years to get to this point. 3 hard, horrible, terrible, depressed, painful years...but its worth it to come out on the other side. I also keep in mind that it might not last...but I know that i'll fight my way through that too. I'm here for you, girl...every step of the way...just let me help you through til you can help yourself, okay? Don't you dare give up...I'll come up to Maryland and kick your butt!

Email me if you want...anytime...I'll check it tonight...do you have my phone number? I'll email it to you in a minute...call me when you need me...i mean it!

Love ya,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: firelightshimmer
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 3:14pm

Tina,


It really DOES get better, it just seems like it takes forever sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: firelightshimmer
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 4:09pm
I just wanted to let you know I thought the entire time I've been on Seroquel (800mg a day) that it was the vistaril or the paxil cr that was putting me out. LOL, it was the seroquel. I've been on it for a long while now (about a year I guess, maybe less) but I still get knocked out. I can take it and w/in a few minutes I'm out if I lay down, if I sit up I'm not even tired. For me that is a god send of sorts because my sleep is so broken. I wish you nothing but luck!!!

(((((HUGS)))))

Carla