Doing well, quick question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Doing well, quick question...
3
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 11:25pm
Hi, everyone...I haven't been around much lately...school is incredibly busy, and fortunately, I've actually had several weeks of feeling pretty good...that hasn't happened to me for a very long time! Well, I've been exhausted physically for some reason, so that I've felt like I'm sleepwalking for most of the time, and I've been having a little trouble with my fibromyalgia again. But after several naps today (skipped lecture, not good!) I'm finally feeling more like myself again...and mentally doing pretty well. Especially since I just finished exercising...that always makes me a little giddy afterwards!

I guess it's been a while since I last gave an update...to sum things up, I have seen my new psychiatrist twice, and I think I like her much more than my old one (although I have to drive to her office, which makes me almost panic every time). I've been off the lithium for a while now and haven't started anything else new...so I'm just on my two regular antidepressants, Pamelor and Prozac, which I need for my fibromyalgia and migraines anyway.

At my last visit with the pdoc, she suggested putting me on Abilify for depression and my repetitive thoughts...I said I'd think about it, but the way things are going now, I don't want to try any new meds and deal with side effects. Even though I told her I felt fine, she said I probably still had some underlying depression or thought patterns that I've just gotten used to, and that I should probably try to work on those with meds and/or therapy (and she does some therapy as well, which is a bonus, although I don't think that's her main specialty).

And I was scheduled to have another appointment with her today. But I'm busy preparing for a big test in school next week, and I've been feeling good...so several days ago, I called to cancel it. Today she called me back (something my old pdoc would never do... she always had her secretary call for everything)...and asked when I would like to reschedule the appointment.

So I told her my thoughts, that I wasn't sure that I needed an appointment at all because I was feeling pretty good...but she said that it would be better to have regular appointments and not just to wait until I have a crisis. So I agreed and made an appointment for next week, not really believing that it is necessary, though.

Sorry for this long intro! My main question is whether it is necessary or even helpful to have pdoc appointments when I am doing well and feel fine (something very unusual for me, I have to admit!). I think maybe it's due to the fact that I've been so incredibly busy...I literally haven't had time to think about anything but school from the time I get up until I go to bed...so I guess that staying busy has really helped...I just hope I'm not ignoring some horrible underlying depression that will pop up later.

I feel bad for thinking this, but in the back of my mind is the suspicion that my pdoc just wants my money (well, I only pay a copay, but still!) and that she would want to medicate me when it's really not necessary. I mean, this is the first time in so long that I have felt pretty steady, mood-wise...I really don't want to interfere with that by adding unnecessary meds.

Thanks for listening and for any advice you all may have. I have been reading some posts on the board here, and my thoughts are with you all...I hope that things improve for those of you who are struggling. Hopefully my own stability isn't just a very short-lived thing, or a product of my "exercise high" (which has been harder to get lately since my legs ache pretty badly sometimes).

Thanks again,

Rose

Edit: P.S. This new pdoc doesn't seem to think I'm bipolar at all (well, she asked specifically about mania, and I had to agree that I've never had full-blown mania before). That makes me wonder whether she's missing something, but it also makes me think that maybe that was all a figment of my imagination...guess that would be called denial, though...but I'm not sure if I should bring this up again with the pdoc if she seems pretty sure that I'm not bipolar.


Edited 11/5/2004 12:29 am ET ET by rosa444

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 7:50am
Hi Rose...good to hear from you and that you're doing well...in my opinion, I would keep regulary appointments...they don't have to be that often, but at least your pdoc would know your "cycles" if there are any, and wouldn't miss out on anything. As for the Abilify, I wouldn't take it if you don't feel you need it. I tried it, and got really sick from it. But I'm sensitive to side affects from all meds, not just that one in particular. Its an anti-psychotic that might work on your repetitive thoughts, but its a strong med and I wouldn't go on something that strong, if I didn't absolutely need it. That, of course, is just my opinion and I am VERY biased on meds these days given all my recent experiences. I'm only on Topamax and the new anti depressant Cymbalta now and doing really well myself. Anyway, just my two cents! Glad to hear your staying busy...it really does help!

Hugs!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 9:05pm

Rose,


Unless your area is vastly different from the rest of the country, pdocs have more business than they know what to do with--so it's unlikely your pdoc is just after your money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 12:20pm
Thanks so much, Marci and Keli...you both have been so helpful and supportive. I can understand the reasoning behind keeping regular appointments...even though recently I've felt so good that I thought there could be nothing wrong with me and no need to be on any medication.

Kind of ironically, in the day or so since I posted my original message, my mood seems to have gone down a lot. On Friday, even though I had a migraine and had to prepare for a major exam on Monday, I was feeling on top of the world. But now I am completely unmotivated to study, feeling pretty down (and fat), and my body is aching like it hasn't in many months. And I hate that my old pdoc could be right, that the fibromyalgia is "just" a symptom of depression...I don't see how that could be sometimes, but the two problems do often seem to go together (even though my body was hurting some when I was happier).

I still haven't gotten out of my pajamas...guess I'd better do that at least (I have been forcing myself to study some, though). So I guess I should plan to keep my Friday pdoc appointment...I know you are probably right that she is just concerned about my well-being...I need to try to get rid of my worry that she has other reasons for wanting me to make an appointment.

And I'm going to try not to over-analyze my moods this time...but it does seem like my pdoc will only see me when I'm down (if this current mood continues through the week)... so I can see why she wouldn't even consider the possibility of bipolar. I guess I should have kept my last appointment, but I was feeling so good that I thought it was totally unnecessary. I don't think I was at all manic, though...but the depression was definitely not there. Oh well, guess that's a good reason for keeping regular appointments!

Thanks again,

Rose