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| Mon, 11-08-2004 - 5:17pm |
The basics:
- 32 years old
- Recently married (2 months) for the third time
- 3 kids (8, 11, & 14 (stepchild))
- Work full-time as a computer programmer
- Attending graduate school online
- Meds: 50mg zoloft, 750 mg Depakote, .25 xanax X 3 (as needed)
Now for the messy part - all the crazy things going on in my head. I have suffered from depression my entire life (and maybe hypomania - not really sure), been on and off meds, in and out of therapy. About 3 years ago I experienced a TBI (traumatic brain injury). Things really went downhill after that.
Anyhow, I recently tried switch anti-depressants and got so loopy that I switched docs. A friend who's working on her master's in psychology kept telling me I was bipolar. The docs won't diagnose me as bipolar yet. They say the mood swings may be part of my TBI and/or related to alcohol/caffeine abuse but the treatment is pretty much the same. I've managed to get completely off caffeine but the alcohol is difficult for me. I did start therapy again recently. Regardless of what they call it I have the equivalent of ultra rapid cycling bipolar but generally my manic episodes tend to be negative. There's only been a couple times when I was convinced I should try out for the Olympics or stayed up all night writing a book that would change the world.
All this craziness is really putting a strain on my new marriage. My husband just opened a third business and is gone a lot more. It is also hunting season so he's gone on the weekends. We lived together for a year and got along very well. I just increased my depakote and it seems to be helping. He is a sweet and wonderful man but my behavior bewilders him. He has done some reading and research but it still seems bizarre.
I just found out today that I have a new job (my dream job) *and* its very close to home. I quit my current job and just walked out - not my usual behavior but it was the worst job I've ever had. Anyhow, I don't start the new job for two weeks. I plan to spend those two weeks resting and getting my life in order. As I'm sure all of you know, even a positive change can cause stress for those of us with mood disorder. I plan to hang around a chat a lot over the next couple weeks.
Thanks to everyone for reading. It helps just to talk about it. I have done a great deal of research and I hope I can offer support and helpful hints to all of you as well.

Hugs,
Keli
Welcome, glad you found us--this is a great group and a wonderful place of support.
When you get a chance, please check out our Newcomers post.
Hugs,
Marci co-CL
P.S.