Crying all day, confused, what works ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Crying all day, confused, what works ?
5
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 8:33pm
hi everyone,

i'm nita. i have written letters today to my two grown childdren, one of whom(my son) isn't speaking to me because he thinks i'm "a weirdo", which of course i probably appear to be weird to him. he's 19.my god, what i must've put those two through when they were growing up.the letters were sort of my way of making amends, and letting them know about my diagnosis. and then iwrote to their dad, who i have been divorced from for 7 yrs. i just had some things to tell him, and to apologize also for some stuff. and since i think our son is there with him to let him know about my diagnosis because there's a ton of mental illness on both sides of the family. just so he'd be aware because my son has exhibited symptoms in the past. i guess i felt that i needed to let their dad know in case they ever have trouble?? who knows why in the world i do most of the things i do?

anyways, i am in a low mood today. been doing some research and i would like to tackle this illness as holistically as possible. what are some things you all do, like diet, exercise, meditation?? what has worked? i do know that sugar and white flour and chocolate really jazz me up. i also crave all 3.

i realize i am just rambling here so i'll stop. hope to hear some suggestions.

thanks,

nita
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Thu, 11-11-2004 - 10:05pm
Nita

I think that is wonderful of you to feel comfortable sharing your dx with your ex and your sons. I understand your reasoning behind it...I watch my daughter all the time for symptoms of developing mental illness (I try not to obsess about it though LOL).

As far as I know, there aren't any fully holistic methods of dealing with bp. Obviously, keeping your life low-stress helps, reducing your caffeine and sugar, getting plenty of rest and exercise....these things all will keep your moods more level. However, because of the chemical nature of bp, I don't think it can be properly maintained long term without meds. Goodness knows most of us have tried! Eventually, your brain will zig when it should zag and you will start to cycle. Fortunately, there are a lot of meds out there and hopefully you can find the miracle drug (or sometime cocktail of drugs) for you.

Please be VERY careful if you are put onto meds by your pdoc or gp before taking any natural suppliments or herbal treatments and some can interfere with your bp meds.

I am sorry to hear you are in a low mood. I know how difficult those moods are to deal with. Please post here as much as you need to. Find distractions from your mood too keep yourself busy. If you find yourself becoming too down, do NOT hesitate to call a crisis center or help line.

Good luck and take care!!

Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:24am
Hi Tracey and thanks for responding.

i thought the only meds for this were zyprexa, lithium, and depakote. those scare me to death. i am really hypersensitive to meds.not to be nosy, but what do you take? right now i am on lexapro for the depression and a tiny dose of klonopin for sleep.

i must admit i do eat too much junk food, especially chocolate, and drink too much coffee.i have noticed i feel really angry and irritable when i eat/drink these. the reason i reach for them in the first place is that initially they give me energy, then i crash. what a mess!!

anyways, thanks so much!

nita
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 9:22am
Hi Nita! Those meds you mentioned, with the exception of Lithium ARE scary! But there are so many others to try!!!! I agree 100% with what Tracey told you...its almost impossible to treat Bipolar without meds...I tried it, didn't work....SOOOOO didn't work...those things, like exercise, limiting sugar and caffeine, and meditate help...but you need a good combination of meds too...and it takes TIME to find them. I still haven't found mine. Its frustrating, but find a good pdoc that you totally trust and hang in there as best you can. We, with bipolar, are strong people. We couldn't survive as we have if we weren't. I applaud you, on writing the letters to your kids and your ex. That's a hard thing to do, but cleansing to your soul. I worry so much about what I've done to my family. But I've had to let it go, in order to get on with my life, and to get better. You have to do the same thing. You were/are sick with an ILLNESS...an illness the same as any other, like diabetes. Something you can't help having. Forgive yourself and focus on YOU and getting better.

Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 11:46am
Nita:

Some of the meds ARE very scary. I take Lithium as my main med. It is my miracle drug. I don't get depressed very often (although when I do - it is UGLY). I am REALLY REALLY MANIC....all the time. Yes, you have to have blood tests to check the levels of lithium in your body to establish the theraputic level for a bit, but it isn't a big deal and once you get that set, you don't have to do it very often any more. You also have to drink more water and less caffeine and alcohol. There are other things to watch, but that is normal of ANY medication. I look at the restrictions my dad has from some of the meds he takes for his heart and they aren't any better. But, just like he needs to take his meds to keep himself healthy and alive, we need ours to stay healthy and (really) alive. I also take topamax to reduce my migraines and to supplement the lithium in stabilizing my moods. The two combined work fantastic for me. Having said that, there are people on this board that can't tolerate either. Everyone is different.

Over the past 8-10 months, I have almost completely stopped drinking anything caffinated and sodas in general, and really watch my "junk food" intake. I also have improved the amount of sleep I get a night. These things have significantly improved the way the meds help my body regulate itself. It was REALLY hard to stop eating the way I was (I am a junk food addict also - very overweight as a result, but fixing that), but as I stopped eating the stuff I didn't "need" I have found that my body is craving it less.

Most people here will be more then happy to offer you information on the meds they take and the experiences they have had with those and other meds. Please, feel free to ask anything you need. That is why we are all here - to help each other.

Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 3:09pm

Nitali,


I can imagine how you must feel about your children and ex.