I'm so devasted and hurt!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
I'm so devasted and hurt!!!
1
Sat, 09-18-2010 - 11:15pm
I'm sitting here crying as I type this, don't even know where to start! My name is Liz, 38 y.o. and have 4kids, 3 living at home with me 17,13 and 7, and a 21 yo living on her own with her fiance. Well, my story is really long but I will try my best to keep it short. I'm married and have been together with my husband for 19 yrs on and off. Our problems now started almost 2 yrs ago, when he walk out on me 2wks before christmas,it was the hardest time of my life, I had a feeling he was cheating but never could comfirm it, so after that we tried to work things out from Jan 2009 to May 2009, well it did not work at least he found an excuse to blame me, not like he was trying to make it work either! After that it got really ugly, I found out he was very publicly seeing someone else, i found out when he and her started posting pics on fb, then to my surprise ofcourse he filed for divorce, they both made my life miserable, i was very depress and soo hurt i ended up in hospital after having a nervous breakdown. After a few months I started seeing someone else, trying to move on. A lot of things happen that I just could not see myself with that person cause I was not over my husband, I got wrapped up in a relationship cause I was angry and that was a wrong reason, so that ended at the end of Nov 09. Our divorce was almost wrapped up in Dec 09/Jan 10 but then my husband started calling and coming around, at first I kept my guard up cause of how bad he hurt me, but he kept insisting and apologizing and making all these promises, so I fell right back into his arms and we decided to give it another try, then the problems with that other woman started, let me say that she was still married too, but separated. She would prank call, her friends calling my home and emailing me, let me remind you that all this over the man that was still my husband the father of my kids. By april we decide to stop the divorce and we did. My husband suddenly started turning everything around on me, verbally abusing me cause how dare me be with someone else, that it's expected from a man not a woman. It was a nightmare, I tried to end it many times but him of course would come back begging and crying to forgive him and everytime I did. Now, a few weeks ago, we argue and it was not even as bad as it was before, but somehow he decided he didn't want anything to do with me and that he was done, and blaming me for everything, which its not true. Has insult me by text, he has not even faced me to give me an explanation, now we have a court on Mon 9/20 to get divorce. And to make it worst I found out I'm pregnant a few weeks ago and he wants nothing to do with it, this man is the father of my kids, he has extremely hurt me, I can't believe he is putting me through this again! I need to be strong and I feel like I dont have any strength! He had the nerve to tell me that I want to ruin his life and for me not to even say that its his baby. I'm so angry, sad, confuse, in denial, I don't know what to think anymore. I can't believe I trusted him after he hurt me so bad!
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Wed, 09-22-2010 - 6:02pm

((((HUGS)))) I'm really sorry that he is putting you through all this.