Bipolar in daily life

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Bipolar in daily life
9
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 4:17pm

How does the bipolar effect your daily life? How does it effect your work, relationship, and your relationship with your self?

I'm bipolar and it is crushing me. I don't work - my doc says no. I'm without a relationship now - my ex and I fought all the time. With myself - I hate me!!!
Daily I'm barely able to function.

I was wondering how others are effected by this horrible disease.

StormyMoon

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 7:05pm

There is no

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 9:03am

Hi there. I wanted to welcome you to the board, if I haven't already. And let you know that I totally agree with everything Marci said. Bipolar sucks, no doubt about it. But, with the right TREATMENT, you can live a productive life. You didn't say if you were seeing a psychiatrist, or were on meds. That is so important. I've tried life without meds and point blank...it just doesn't work.

I work a full time job...have a family with a teenage son...take care of my sick mother a few nights a week...NOW...this didn't come easy...I went through a few years of hell before I got to the point I'm at now. But I'm here...and you can be too.

Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 2:44pm

Yea, I'm on meds and seeing a doc.....but nothing. He's trying out different meds on me; so far nothing is working. I hate being this way. I usually have more depression than the manic....maybe because everything in my life is going down hill right now. I hate my life. Don't even know how to cheer myself up anymore. Nothing it working. Any suggestions?

Thanks both of you for your words and thoughts....atleast I do have a couple of ladies who care - thanks.

~StormyMoon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 2:55pm

Oh honey...of course I care! I know exactly where you are right now! My pdoc and pdocs at the hospital have tried numerous meds and many didn't work. But please don't give up. Keep coming here and talking, talking, talking! It really does help to talk about these things with people who understand what you're going through. Journaling helps me a lot too. Of course, the right meds...but you're doing all you can in that area and I'm really hoping you'll stick with it until your pdoc can find what works for you.

I know its so hard to TRY to feel good...to force yourself to get up everyday...to function...but it will be worth it soon...FIGHT with everything you have and keep going.

Do you mind if I ask what meds you're on right now?

HUGS!!!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 7:47pm

OMG affect my daily life...well it does in a negative way most of the time. I have a hard time gettting out of bed sometimes and sometimes i just hate my life. I get real depressed alot as of late. I have been in the hospital 5 times in my life and have tried to commit suicide at least 11 time since I was 15 yrs old ...I am now 36. I have tried to go to college and get my degree but I haven't been able to do that as of yet. I have been trying for 15 yrs...trying to do 2 yrs of college and STILL not done in 15yrs. I have a hard time alot keeping up with my housework. I do manage to keep up with my dishes and laundry but the rest is a big chore and sometimes doesn't get done as much as it should. I have a love for art and drawing but my illness makes it to the point I can't draw when i am depressed. I suffer more from the depressive side of bipolar then mania. I do get hypomanic but ususally the dysphoric mania not the euphoric. EVERY SINGLE DAY when I am depressed is a chore for me to get through. I do have some good days but I struggle more then not struggle. Bipolar can be very mean and make life pretty nasty but I will say I have had good times but now is not a good time for me because I have been depressed for over 6 weeks now and I didn't know if I should respond to you or not. When i am stable with my meds life is easier and dealing with stress is easier but when my meds aren't working then life can be hell. Just keep trying different meds with your pdoc until you find the right combo...it will be worth it. I am pretty negative right now because I am soooo depressed but really you can find a more functionable life and meds is the way to go along with therapy. Keep strong and hang in there. There are alot of nice ladies here and they can be very supportive and I will try my best to be supportive to you. Right now is just hard for me because I have had alot of bad things happening right now. I hope you start to feel better and when Keli gets a chat going I hope you join us. Like Marci said everyone is different with the way their bipolar effects them. You just keep striving for better...ok

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 9:09pm

Keli and Tina ... thanks to both of you.

Tina - I know how you feel. I'm having trouble keeping positive myself. My negative being is taking over me. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving....I don't know what to be thankful for except my dad and brother. I have nothing else.
Thank you for sharing your story with me...atleast now I know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I've tried killing me 4 times since about the age of 16. I hope the next time it works. I'm thinking rat poison.

Keli - I'm on Trazodone, Risperdal, and Seroquel. I was on Litheum and Tegratol but my new doc took me off of them. I take my meds everyday - not helping me that I can see or feel.

Anyway, I'm trying to cheer me up...still haven't found what's going to do it.

Thanks
StormyMoon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 11-27-2004 - 10:24am

Stormy,

I am worried about you and thinking about you and just wanted to send you a hug and let you know I care!

You listed your meds and you aren't on an antidepressant at all. I had to FIGHT my pdoc almost literally to get one, but it made ALL the difference. You're on BOTH Risperdal AND Seroquel? What doses? They may contributing to your depression in a major way.

Know that you ARE worth living for. You email me if you need to...kelisthabomb1@aol.com...if just to vent, talk, write nothing, whatever...I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere!

By the way, do you feel comfortable giving me your name? You don't have to, I was just curious. Hang in there, PLEASE!

Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 5:31am

Thanks Keli...A ZILLION...

Yea...maybe they are the causes of my problems...I can't tell.
The Risperdal is in 4mg doses and the Seroquel is in 25mgs. (The Seroquel - he had me on 200mgs at first...then I complained to him about always sleeping...and waking up feeling as is that 18 wheeler hit me. Then he put me on 100mgs and again I complained. Now I'm on the 25mgs and still the same ole story. I messes with me BIGTIME! Honestly, I only take it now when I seriously want to "zone out". - I don't like Seroquel at all!!!)

Thanks for being a friend to me....I really don't have many friends. That means the world to me. You and MommyLovSpunks both have extended out greatly to me...And that is worth everyting in this world. I might have to talk to you "off the board"....needing that I believe.

Hugs to you Keli
StormyMoon

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 8:54am

Hey hon! I agree with you, I hated Seroquel, but I used it to totally zone out when I was really bad off...that's one reason I had to get off it...I felt like a total zombie too, even on 25 mgs at a time too...and I was up to 300 mgs at night...UGH! I couldn't function and I have to work every day.

I am SOOO you're friend!!!

Will talk to you later on, okay? I have a 9 am meeting that i have to run off to, but I wanted to check in with you!

Love and Hugs,

Keli