Update, need advice, help...
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| Tue, 11-23-2004 - 8:50am |
Okay, here's the deal...a couple of weeks ago, I got really pretty manic and my pdoc cut my Cymbalta in half and increased my Topamax by 100 mgs. I did that for about 3 or 4 days and starting cycling DOWN and started getting depressed. So, I started taking my regular dose of Cymbalta and the lower dose of Topamax again to cycle myself back up out of the depressive cycle I was getting into. Now, I have PMS really bad. It hits me hard every single month. BUT, in addition to that...I'm cycling again BIG TIME...I'm down, I'm really agitated...irritated, have tons of anxiety...and the worst part is that I cannot sleep. I feel like just getting up out of my chair and RUNNING somewhere far away. I know these are classic symptoms of hypomania...DYSPHORIC hypomania...and I hate it...oh yeah, I started hallucinating again last night...only once, but that was enough...
Sooooooooo...my question is this...do I call my pdoc and tell her all this? If I do, she's going to think I was only taking a HALF dose of Cymbalta and I don't want her thinking its causing all this and take me off it. I cannot be off an anti depressant. But she is VERY quick to take me off them. Or do I just wait it out, cut the dose like I'm supposed to, and know that PMS is going to go away in a week?
I don't know what to do. I am not really thinking clearly...my mind is racing like CRAZY and I need some help on deciding what to do. I know what I would tell all of you to do, LOL...call the pdoc...but I'm so scared of losing my AD...I can't take life without it...I get very suicidal very quickly...
So, what do I do? I'm safe...I'm not in any danger of hurting myself at all...I'm functioning...I just feel absolutely HORRIBLE.

I know I don't have to tell you it is bad to change your med doses without your doctor knowing but......
Call and fess up. You need to get feeling better especially at this stressful time of year. An option is if she tries to take you off the AD, tell her you are going to get a second opinion because you understand your moods and what you are going through a heck of a lot better than she does!!! She may decided that since you are so serious about it that you may be right. You know what I mean? Amanda