I need to vent...
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| Mon, 11-29-2004 - 12:02pm |
I don't know where even to begin...As most of you know, my mom is very ill and almost totally disabled. I am having to take on a larger role in her care and I'm pretty stressed out about it. My dad works a lot of crazy schedules and at least 2-3 nights a week and EVERY saturday, its up to me to take care of her...now, at the risk of sounding like an ungrateful child (which I am so not), this really stresses me out. My mother is VERY negative. I mean, come on...she's in constant and total pain all the time...my dad can be a jerk to her, because she gets on his nerves...she's losing more mental capacity, not remembering things...just real fuzzy headed most of the time...she never leaves the house, EVER. So, yeah, she's negative...I deal with it okay most times, but I guess I was with her too much this weekend, because I got really frustrated. Then I feel really guilty about feeling that way. I don't mind taking care of my mom. But, I have to take care of myself too and I'm scared that sooner or later the pressure is going to be too much and its going to trigger me into an episode. I'm still doing really well with my moods and all, and I guess I shouldn't ANTICIPATE anything.
I think I was just with them waaaaaaaay too much since last Wednesday...LOL. Wednesday night, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night, and came home at noon yesterday...so yeah, I think it was just too much.
This week, I have to be out there some Weds night, Friday night and then on Saturday sometime...
I just have to take it all one day at a time, take care of myself too, and BREATHE!
Oh well, I just needed to vent...

Keli,
Hopefully, it's just a case of holiday family overload, but you're wise to consider the consequences to your own health.
Hi, I'm just stopping by the board again...I'm sorry to hear how things have been going with your mom. I can only imagine...in med school, we've already heard about several studies that have been done on "caregiver" stress levels, and as you can guess, they were often very high! It's very understandable for you to feel stressed...there's no need for guilt on your part (although I know that feeling can be hard to escape)...I hope you do find some help, with Marci's suggestions, to give you a little break sometimes.
Hugs,
Rose
Kel,
Please look into getting some outside help for your mom. Marci had great advice about the dept of aging and checking your moms insurance. You'd be surprised how much help both places can be to check for outside help. Also, the adult daycare is great. My bf took care of his dad for 8 months and during those 8 months he actully physically aged...he looked older and emotionally he was pretty burned out. My bf wouldn't look for outside help...why, because he wanted to take care of his dad and didn't trust anyone so he cared for his dad alone. It stressed him out to the max. Him not getting help caused more stress then needed to be. His dad has now passed on but he is still feeling stressed by that and he is having a hard time. Caretaking really wears the caregiver out big time. It is nice that you are there for your mom but be careful about your health...emotionally and physically. Talk to your dad about checking into outside help and I know you both will be glad you did. The department of aging helps out alot.
Hang in there!
Tina~