need to understand pos trigg

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
need to understand pos trigg
2
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 10:51pm
Kinda new here and with the bipolar. My wife was diagnosed a few mos. ago as bipolar. Reading all about bipolar trying to understand and being vey supportive. The queation I have concerns intimacy. I have read the lots of bp persons have problems with intimacy. But when manic episodes come on she leaves and intimacy isnt a problem. When the episode is over usually about 6 mos. and I let her come back home the intimacy issue is there. Question is this normal with bipolar. I love my wife of 28 years and have known there was a problem but didnt find out about the bipolar till she ended up in the mental ward for the night and was diagnosed with bipolar. Is doing well on the meds but the intimacy issue is still going nowhere. Not neccessarially meaning sex. No kissing hugging act. Is this normal with the bipolar. Does it get better in time. Will never leave her because of this she is a very special person. we have 5 grown children and 7 grans all great. She hasnt discussed any of this with the counceler and just start with psych and probably wont because its a very sore subject and not up for discussion and I really need to understand. any info is welcome. Thanks and have a good day papa
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 8:45am

Papa.


Just wanted to say welcome--glad you found us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-03-2004 - 9:00am

Hey Papa...and welcome...I'm glad you are so supportive to your wife, she needs you very much...I can totally relate to your situation. I've been married to my husband for almost 14 years, and we have 14 year old son. During my manic episodes, things happened, and we usually ended up separated, but back then, I didn't KNOW I was bipolar and manic. Now that I know, I can usually avoid the situations that I used to get myself into while manic and avoid those marital problems before they get out of hand. NOW...as far as intimacy goes...mine went out the window when I started meds...all intimacy...from sex, to even kissing and hugging is hard for me...I don't know WHY that is, as I have never explored it with my pdoc either. But its not for lack of loving my husband, as I'm sure your wife loves you...I would do anything for my husband, because he's been right by my side through some really awful things, and some really bad times...and been totally supportive of me during my diagnosis and my hospitalizations subsequently. We go through such an array of mood swings and emotions, even ON meds...that sometimes its all we can do to get OURSELVES through the day. Days like that, I can't even begin to think about being even the slightest bit intimate. I think my husband is starting to understand. I've tried explaining this to him, but its hard on family members and those who love us to understand...to REALLY understand. The ones closest to us and the ones who go through all the "secondary" pain as I call it. We go through the worst of it, because we have to live it every second of every day and its not fun...its extremely hard. I'm stable now on my meds and doing well. But even though that is the case, I still have my ups and downs and all arounds...but I'm as stable as I'm going to get. And I'm happy with that. I'm functional again, and able to laugh and love and live. I can deal with my illness now, with the HELP of my dh, my family, and my friends...who I cherish with all that I am. Your wife is lucky to have your support. I applaud you for standing by her, I know its been very difficult for you. Feel free to stay with us and ask any questions you may have. We live this illness and feel its effects every single day.

Hugs!

Keli