Quick update...new pdoc, etc

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Quick update...new pdoc, etc
4
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 12:04am

(I was planning on posting this in the roll call but thought it got a little too detailed for that...so thought I'd just make a separate post if that's OK.)

Hi, just stopping by briefly in the midst of studying for final exams (and freaking out about the amount of material and my laziness in not having learned it!). Sorry, not quite the right kind of introduction! So I go by Rose, 24, in Missouri...a student, as I guess is obvious from the above...

As for how long I've been diagnosed BP, I guess many of you may have heard my story...so still no crystal-clear diagnosis, but the suggestion of several doctors so far. I started seeing a new pdoc not too long ago, and she saw me this past Friday when I was in the depths of despair (cliche as that sounds...but true). And then I had another appointment with her today, and instead of sobbing the entire session, I told her I felt pretty good about life, having trouble getting to sleep instead of sleeping too much...

I know I wouldn't be considered manic now...but my pdoc was really surprised at the change and asked me several times, "Do you REALIZE how incredibly depressed you were just a few days ago?". Hard to believe, but I was even scared to go to my therapy appointment that day for fear she would put me in the hospital (which I think she could have done). And actually, that feels like it was many months ago. So in discussing medications, she suggested that the biggest problem may be the mood swings and not just the depression itself...I think there could be an element of PMS or hormones in there making me depressed too, though, so that complicates things.

Not at all sure yet that I want to go the medication route (she's leaning strongly towards Depakote, which I've heard horror stories about, particularly with weight gain)...especially with 5 final exams in the next week (my pdoc wanted to give me some Seroquel for sleep, but I've tried that before and could hardly put a sentence together during the day, so I don't want to try anything now)...but I guess it's a start towards maybe trying to deal with these swings.

And the pdoc also does my therapy...up until today's session, we really didn't discuss meds much, I guess partly because she wasn't sure what to try since I've been on the majority of antidepressants already. And I do feel like she's picked up on some of my major issues, although I'm embarrassed to have them so many years after the fact. I've had lots of therapy before, but have never really addressed some of these issues...so maybe this will help.

Anyway, just wanted to give an update...things are going relatively well except for the recent panic over this one class...guess it's back to the grind for a while (I think I've been a little too laid-back about things up til now!).

Thanks as always for the support and advice,

Rose

Edit: Hmm, I just realized too...I got a migraine again today for the first time in several weeks...and I've noticed before that I seem to get them when I'm feeling more energetic, so I wonder if there's a correlation...but I think it may just be that I was rushing around more and getting more stressed...




Edited 12/9/2004 12:36 am ET ET by rosa444
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Registered: 10-04-2004
Thu, 12-09-2004 - 8:15am

Just my two cents - you may not me "manic" but "hypomanic" like I get (like right now - lots of energy but trouble sleeping, concentrating and focusing so not as productive as I'd like to be).


have you tried Lamictal yet? No weight gain, mood stabilizer and antidepressant, just takes weeks to get up to a therapeutic dose. That is what I am trying right now - at a therapeutic dose, but swung up a little bit to high, so I guess I'm not there yet!


good luck on your finals!

peace and love,


just_a_big_kid


Sue

peace and love,

just_a_big_kid

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 11:30am

Thanks, Sue...sorry if I seem to be all over the boards here lately! I think you may be right about the hypomania...I'm glad my pdoc gave me a few Ambien at my last appointment (although I asked for something for sleep, so I feel like she may see me as some kind of drug-seeker)...but I was up last night at 3 AM, completely wide awake and happy, until I gave in and took a half an Ambien...of course, morning and today's anatomy test came a little too soon then! (I think the test went OK anyway, though).

But then again, it's so confusing...my mood lately just seems more unstable than anything. Yesterday I found out that a student in my class who I've been friendly with is having to take the rest of the year off as medical leave (I don't know why and she didn't say, but it came as a big surprise)...and my mood went way down (I guess from guilt at not getting to know her better, worries about how she is doing or what is wrong).

But once I managed to stop thinking about it (not completely, of course), I was pretty much back to my high-energy state. So this kind of thing makes me question whether I do actually have a mood problem or whether my moods could be considered just normal fluctuations that everyone gets...and that question makes me doubt whether I need meds (although it's true that I go from nearly suicidally depressed to really "up"...but it happens pretty quickly).

Whew, OK, trying not to apologize for this long post! Thanks for telling me about your experience with Lamictal. I've never taken it (lithium is the only mood stabilizer I've tried so far, well, and Seroquel if that counts)...but a pdoc I saw a year or so ago actually was the first to suggest I could be bipolar (after talking to me for several hours, too), and he recommended Lamictal...but I had to stop seeing him because my mental health coverage ran out. I do actually still have a 30-day supply of Lamictal from him, which I never started taking...and of course I won't start it without a pdoc's supervision.

I have heard good things about Lamictal, too...but this pdoc hasn't mentioned it as a possibility. That may be because my regular doctor told me that some mood stabilizers might help prevent my pretty regular migraines...and so I mentioned that to my pdoc...so I think Depakote and Topamax (the two she spoke of) help with migraines too. But I'd be very hesitant to try Depakote...I really haven't heard many positive experiences with it.

Thanks again, hope you're having a good day...I'm OK, 1 test down, 4 to go...

Rose




Edited 12/10/2004 11:31 am ET ET by rosa444
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Fri, 12-10-2004 - 6:50pm

Rose,


I think there are probably plenty of "horror stories" about every psychiatric medication.

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 12-11-2004 - 4:38pm

Thank you, Morgaine...you're right, there are always people who've had bad experiences with any medication, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work well for others...I needed that reminder. I'm glad the Depakote is helping you without too many bad side effects... I will probably look into it a little more as you did, but I think it may be at least worth a try. I guess one of my problems is that when I feel OK, I have trouble justifying to myself why I even need meds...but a lot of the time, I guess it's somewhat obvious!

Thanks again for your post, nice to "meet" you,

Rose