I know I haven't posted in a while....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
I know I haven't posted in a while....
4
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 8:44am

This is Rowan, Northern Virginia, 36 yo. Diagnosed with Bipolar about a year ago.

I've been fairly stable with breakthrough depression.

I have been shocked to learn that my therapists 17yo DS killed himself or OD'd a month ago. I can't stop thinking about a life cut short. And I'm still suffering grief from the death of my mother 1 year, 8 mos, 1 week ago. The death of this young man has me crying again over my mother who died at only 56. I want so badly to do SOMETHING, but there's nothing I can do. Nothing to ease the pain of people dying...

It seems such a bleak world if eventually everyone dies on you...

Just needed to vent this gray feeling some...

Hugs,
Rowan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 8:48am

Hey Rowan! I have missed seeing you here! I just wanted to say that I care about you and vent away any time you need to, okay?

The world is a bleak place sometimes, but not always! Think of the sunshine that comes up every morning...the dew on the grass...the rainbow that comes after the rain...i know that doesn't help much...but you have my hugs!!!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 8:49am
Welcome back. I like to assume that if people aren't posting it's because things are going well. Granted, that isn't always true. I know how hard it is to deal with the loss of a loved one. I also know that the grief and hopelessness lessens with time although it never completely disappears. I am always surprised about the things that can bring back memories and make me upset again. This time of year is particularly difficult for many people. Have you tried getting your meds adjusted? The depression is probably a large part of the problem (just my opinion). You may want to call your doc. Please stick around and let us know how you are doing. Amanda
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 12:16pm

Thanks much Keli and Amanda.

The pdoc is playing with my meds....he's added Cymbalta but so far all I've experienced is the side effects...*sarcastic*

I'm on:
Wellbutrin XL 450 (max dose)
Seroquel 225
Abilify 15
Cymbalta 60 (max dose)
Concerta 36 (light dose)
Inderal 80 (for HBP)

I AM better than I was, but the depression just doesn't seem to want to let go.

Later,
Rowan

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 1:05pm

Rowan,

(((((HUGS)))))

I am also on Cymbalta 60mgs and I had wonderful results with it...its the ONLY a/d that actually DID work for me...and I didn't get any side affects from it, except for the sexual ones...darn it! I'm sorry your depression is hanging on...

I also started feeling MUCH better when I got off Seroquel. It was making me so much more depressed.

You keep hanging on and keep in touch with us, okay?

Keli