Hi everyone

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Hi everyone
2
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 11:04am

I felt like I was dying but nope hasn't happened yet. To complicate things further with my apparent mixed state I ended up getting sick and had a high fever. As if my mind wasn't messed enough. So much for new year's plans. I was supposed to have Christmas with my mom's side of the family (dad's side had Christmas day this year). I really wanted to go. It's my favourite aunt and uncle's place and I'd get to see the other aunt and cousins that I don't see. I also wanted to give them my grad pics. That's what I did for Christmas presents this year. Now if only I can make it happen I am so worried about that. School starts in a couple days and I won't find out if I did okay on last semester until a week later. That is so stupid. If I have to drop a course (full year) and take two more (half year) to make up for it I'd like to know before the term starts. The other one that I'm really worried about I can't make up if I screwed up on it. For one I have reached my max of first year courses I can take. For two it's not offered again second semester. Argh. I just don't know. I'm so confused about everything right now. My brain is a mess and I'm reevaluating my life and don't like what I see. I can't keep anything straight right now and my memory is all but non-existent. I know that I need to eat and drink something now but don't want to. I'm surprised I'm not hungry. I don't need to eat as much when I'm manic but I also haven't eaten anything the last two days while I was sick. I tried to drink a lot of water (which I hate) and juice (but I only had a single serving bottle) and now I have nothing and no food either. I wasn't up to going to the grocery store the last couple days and now it's closed. I just want some juice. I don't feel hungry but I can't stand to drink any more water.

Sorry about the ranting.

Amanda/Schitz

ps. I guess what I should have written about instead of ranting is to let you know that I still haven't called the mental health clinic to see if they'll take me and there is no way that I'd go to the ER. I don't look like there is anything wrong with me. "Yes, um, excuse me but I need help" I can't say I'm bipolar because I guess officially I'm not. I've only talked it over with my family doc.




Edited 1/1/2005 11:10 am ET ET by schitz

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: schitz
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 3:15pm

Amanda

This is VERY VERY VERY important. Number 1 - EAT SOMETHING! Not only do you need it for your body to fight whatever is causing you to be sick, but you need it to stay healthy overall. Plus, as much as you don't like it, you should continue to drink water - it is SO good for you! Number 2 - you are not stable right now. You NEED to either call the mental health clinic or go to the ER or get in touch with your doctor for help. If you choose to go to the ER you don't have to say that you are BP. All you need to do is explain to them what is going on, and that you are pretty much out of control.

I know right now it looks pretty bleak and dismal and everything looks like a mess but it will work out if you get the help you need. Once you get stable you can accomplish anything and everything and you will look back on these days and wonder why you suffered so long before getting help. I promise.

Good luck and please post as much as you need to. Take care!
Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: schitz
Sat, 01-01-2005 - 3:55pm

Amanda,


I wholeheartedly agree with what Tracey said about taking care of your health--getting really dehydrated by itself can really play some mean mean tricks on your head-BTDT!--and it will only slow down your recovery from whatever bug bit you.


Sweetie, here's the hard part--YOU have got to take steps to get yourself some help, either by calling the clinic or going to the ER!