Am I bi-polar?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
Am I bi-polar?
8
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:22pm
I'm not sure if I am bi-polar or just depressed or maybe I'm just over reacting. My fiance and I have been together for 4 yrs now. We live together. He has a 21 yr old son from a prevoius marriage. His son lives w/his mother and hasn't been able to hold down a job for awhile now. He's always calling dad needing money for something. He's very immature for his age. I tell my fiance that he made his bed. But he tells me to give him a chance. I think he and his ex treat him like a child still. His mother got him a cell phone and still calls my fiance if she can't get ahold of him and it drives me crazy!! Am I over reacting? Someone please tell me. I have wanted to throw in the towel b/c of all of this. I get sick of his son calling needing money. But when we see him all he talks about is gambling or wanting to fix his car up. Hey that's fine but don't you have to have a job to do these things. Recently he got some tickets for no ins. and tags were out. He wanted dad to help him pay for them and ex wanted to know could he help too. They both play him and make him feel quilty. I keep telling him that by helping him he's hurting him. I feel that that is what him mother is doing too. What should I do? Someone please tell me. Is it just me or what!!??
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:27pm
I can't say if you are bipolar or not but I can tell you I don't think you are over reacting. If this 21 year old is an able bodied individual that can hold down a job and has no major health issues, I don't see why his parents are supporting him in this way. I can certainly understand them helping him out in an emergency or with extenuating circumstances but from what you are telling me this is extreme. I'm not sure what advice to give you but I wanted you to know that you are DEFINITELY NOT overreacting in my opinion. Why do you think you may be bipolar? Are you having what you considering syptoms? I wouldn't say being extremely upset by this is unusual. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Amanda
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Sat, 01-08-2005 - 11:37pm

mlilbit,

Hi! I can't tell you if your bp or not. Only a doctor can. In your post you list the problems you are going through but nothing about mood swings. Here's a web site that maybe able to tell you more http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/bipolar.html . It list the symptoms. I'm very sorry you're going through all this. I also wish I had some words of wisdom to pass on. I've never been in your situation so I can't help. Hope the web page helps.

Love,

Jamie

Love,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Sun, 01-09-2005 - 12:20am

Based on your post, I don't see any of the "normal" indicators for BP popping out--do check out the website one of the other girls gave you--if you recognize yourself in the descriptions for BP or depression, then It's time to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, who is the only one who can truly give you a dx.


I have a sneaking suspicion you are just fed up with the whole situation with your fiance's son & rightfully so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 9:03pm
Thanks to everyone who responded!! And lots of hugs for listening. I think I am fed up with this whole situation. I have talked to my fiance about tough love. There was even an episode on Dr Phill about this very thing. He did agree but still doesn't care. He's affraid that his son will not speak to him anymore. His son still expects alot from mom and dad (everyone). He's very me me me. He even has a child of his own (4yr old). I was raised so totally different. I have a 9 yr old and I try to teach tough love. My fiance always tries to compare the two of them. The reason I was wondering if I am B/P is my moods can change from a drop of a pin. I am on anti-depressants but sometimes it doesn't seem to help. It seems worse around that time of the month forsure. I think maybe my whole problem is this thing with his son though after hearing your comments. He keeps telling me to give his son a chance to get it together. But I just don't know if I can wait around that long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Mon, 01-10-2005 - 9:09pm
Marci I would love to chat with you more on your experience with this. My email is Mlilbit030@sbcglobal.net. If you want to email me. Maybe we can i/m eachother.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: mlilbit
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 11:59am

I totally agree with you. My x-husband has a 22 year old daughter who is a mother herself. His ex and he treat her like she should never work. She gets public assistance and could work, she doesn't. He gave her so much money every month it was putting a stain on my bills. She is not the reason he is my ex, but when I look back, I'm really glad I got out of that before I was paying for her to live. This girl has more food in her cabinets, but refused to let her dad see his grandbaby unless she could borrow money....now that he's on his own, she is stuck and I think it is funny.

Tough love works!!!!!!!! I couldn't imagine where I'd be now if it weren't for my mother telling me either get out or get a job and stop milking me for every penny I have. I Love my Mom, she is my best friend, but she didn't sugar coat life for me. Your step son to be needs a swift kick in his rear and he needs to pay his own bills, it won't get any easier on him if he takes and does nothing for the money. Just being born does not give him the right to "embezzle" from anyone. That is my opinion. He's a child who needs to see the world the way it is. The military may help him there......Just a thought.

I think you are just at your wits end with this loser boy, I don't think it is bipolar, unless I missed something.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 8:59pm
Believe me I am at my wits end. He had thought about going into the military (not sure if he would have lasted) but he has asthma and can't go. Darn!! So we'll see. I'll keep posting. Thanks for everything. I love these boards. They help to get this stuff off our chest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
In reply to: mlilbit
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 2:16am

I do like the tough love concept.