I need to vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
I need to vent!
6
Tue, 01-11-2005 - 11:50pm

Just need to blow off some steam so I don't go off on my friend!


I've been friends for this woman for 3 years--we met in our first day program at the hospital, fairly close in age, lots of similar interests, but there are times she really aggrivates me, but for the most part we get along.


She comes from a wealthy background and until her "breakdown" had an extremely well paying job at a nationally known company (my pay was pretty good, but she made more on disability half pay than I did at full pay).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 1:37am

Marci,


I have only one thing to say - RUN!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 1:56am

Marci

Friends can sometimes be our worst enemies, can't they? As hard as it is, and as much as the financial assistance she MIGHT be able to bring would be nice, I really think this would be the time to tell your friend that right now there just isn't room in your home or your bank account for a roommate. ESPECIALLY since she isn't helping herself.

Good luck {{HUGS}}

Tracey

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 3:16am

Hi hun,

I don't have much to add, but I definately think that this is a person who will probably be a detriment to you. You need to take care of yourself and she needs to take care of herself. I know you want to help, but I think that could be bad for you.

Feel free to vent all you like.

Hugs,

Amanda/Schitz

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 10:01am

Hi all,


Thanks for your advice--you basically told me what I was really thinking just didn't want to admit to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 11:58am

Hi Marci,

I think the idea of running might not be a bad idea.

I have a best friend. She is much older than me (64 1/2). She has been told she is bp but thinks she can't tolerate any of the meds and maybe the dx is wrong. She is primarily depressed so she is just on zoloft. We all know what that can do.

Anyway... She found out a year ago that she was going to be laid off the first of October. Well she work for a good company so they paid her through the end of November and carried her insurance until the end of December. She has been on a huge spending sprey. Has no money saved for retirement. She has over $30,000 dollar on plastic (she plans to just not pay it)(none of it a Wal-mart) and is still charging. She can collect unemployment for 6 months but it's only $800+ a month and her rent is $400. Then she plans on going on ss but ss has told her she can't retire until 65 + 6 months. She has decided that they pay her at 65 anyway (it's not going to happen). She has a car payment and insurance and soon she'll have to pay med insurance. She just spent $1200 on a bed frame last week(on a card). She ran out to Cal. last month just to visit. She's talking about getting a Van so she can travel. (Which translates into "I can't pay rent so I'm going to bum around") In my home in Texas I have a bedroom and a little sunroom set up for her. I have this sinking feeling she is expecting to land there at some point (when reality hits). There's no way I can take care of her in her old age. I guess this is a long winded way to say I understand what your going through. This lady and I have been friends for almost 10 years. I ignore allot. We didn't plan our retirment to take care of three. I'm codependent too and have to find a way to say no.

How about we make a deal...we'll share with each other what we're doing to resolve this as we go along?

Thanks for posting this.

Love,

Jamie

Love,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: kcisis
Wed, 01-12-2005 - 1:02pm

marci,


if