Severe anger - trigger

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Severe anger - trigger
5
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 3:42pm

I am relatively new but have posted sporadically. I need help with a questions. I have been in therapy for over 2 years for PSTD (incest), GAD and Panic disorder. In October I was diagnosed as bipolar I. I am on 200 mg Lamictal and 150mg Effexor. I also take Klonopin for anxiety as needed.

When I cycle up I tend to have 2 days of mania, then settle into a more normal/hypomanic episode for around 5 days. Within hours I cycle down into severe, can't get out of bed, depression for about 3 days, then just deep depression for about 3-4 weeks. This morning when I started cycling down, I decided I was going to try to fight it but instead I got a raging anger like I have never felt. I am at work trying to do my job. I am a bill collector, which brings it's own stess, but today, I am ready to seriously punch someone out or say something to a customer that would be extremely unprofessional. So basically I am here biding my time and trying to keep from taking off the head of fellow employees.

Has anyone else had this happen? Are there ways to fight the rapid cycling constructively? I saw pdoc yesterday and of course I was feeling rather normal, so she didn't change my meds at all. I need help. Please.

Thank you. Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 4:43pm

Sarah,


I will occasionally have problems with rage--it happens most often when I'm in the transition between mania and depression, although more often it's a limited level of patience and lower tolerance to frustration than normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 5:10pm

Sarah,

YES I have. Actually I went off and ranted and raged through my office. I work in State Govt. As a joke someone unplugged my heated and my computer. Well nothing backed up on it, there was a glitch and I lost 1/2 days work. I totally lost it. However....I've lost it when nobody had done anything to me too. I swear it was the trileptal they had me on. I was paranoid, raged all the time!! All the time. From the moment I got up to punching my pillow trying to find a place to be comfy to sleep. I didn't read the other post since I have to get out to catch the bus home.....just know you aren't alone.

I tried to fight it and it just got worse. I hope someone has good news for you. Hang in there.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 10:44am

Hi Sarah!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 11:58am

Thank you everyone for making me feel less like a freak. I am new to all this bipolar stuff and it's been hard, as I know you all know! I have no idea what triggers my moods, yet. Marci, I am it in the Credit and Collection department. We are a relatively small business. But I handle everything from checking credit references, problem resolution, collections and legal collection in court. So I'm kind of stuck doing all the calls as well as the paperwork. Changing jobs is not an option because I am 'grandfathered' into company paid (full family) health benefits. My husband has been seriously chronically ill for over 6 years now and is on disability. His meds (without insurance) would cost over $32,000 per year. My dd is eating disordered and sees a psychologist weekly and nutritionist regularly, although that is mostly resolved now (Thank God). And of course, I have my own thing going on.

But knowing that this is not unusual really helps me. How do you discover what triggers your cycling and what are some triggers that people experience. I wasn't really totally aware that things could trigger the cycling, I thought it was just chemistry.

Thanks again to everyone.

Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 1:18pm

Hey Sarah!


The only way I figured out my "triggers" that definitely DO trigger my cycling, is through 2.5 years of experience...it sucks...and sometimes, no, not sometimes, ALL the time, I'm finding NEW triggers...I don't know how I handle them...obviously, sometimes I don't...LOL!


You'll learn as you go, sweetie, and LISTEN to others who have been there!!!