Fewer and fewer meds

Avatar for kdvaleski
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Fewer and fewer meds
3
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 12:11am

Hi all. My med taper continues, and at least today, my mood is diminished. I'm now down to 5 mg of Prozac, will be off the Topamax after tonight, and I keep lowering the dosage of Lamictal until I can stop that one too. It's funny how much I notice having my doses dropped, and it takes so little time to feel the difference. My concentration is decreased. I have even stopped typing this post several times to start picking at my cuticles and gotten off on completely different trains of thought!

My pdoc had really recommended getting an LH detector to pinpoint ovulation, to minimize the time I'm off meds, since my illness does not happen to be particularly mild. I have to agree that that's a wise idea. Dh, on the other hand, would like to try to conceive, but let it happen when it happens. That's a scary prospect for me, because I don't know when I'll start to decompensate, and if I'll NEED to go back on meds, and I won't do that before a certain point, so I really need to optimize my chances of conceiving ASAP, to be sure I can get through the key developmental stages of pregnancy, and then, if need be, it'll be safe to restart some meds. I can't really afford to be relaxed about the timing, so I'm thinking about getting the LH detector kit and just hiding that from dh.

Anyhow, just a little update from my wacky world. Just needed to reach out to the place where you all understand what it's like to be bipolar. Stopping medications isn't a big deal to most of the rest of the population, but for us (or at least definitely for me) it's scary, even if it's for a happy reason. So, even though others may not understand that, I know a lot of you will, at least about the meds. Sorry if the post seems all discombobulated.

Hugs,
Kristen

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 1:03am

(((Kristen))) I wish you the best of luck and Godspeed in TTC. I also hope that you can do well off the meds for as long as possible. Keep up the faith.

Love
Amanda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 11:36am

Kristen,

Let me double Amanda's {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

I completely understand you fear. You poor thing. You're stuck between the fear of not taking your meds and the fear of hurting the baby. That can't be a fun place to be! I think the LH detector is a great idea even if you feel like you have to hide it. You do what you need to do to stay well.

My heart is with you and I hope you concieve soon.

Love,

Jamie

Love,

Avatar for kdvaleski
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2004
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 12:46pm

Thanks Amanda and Jamie. The Topamax is now history and the Lamictal is down to 200 mg at night, so just that and the bloody 5 mg of Prozac. It's interesting, I did all right for about seven months while coming up on my wedding, ttc with dd (we were lucky and conceived right away) and getting through the fourth month before I needed to go on Prozac for returning depression. I hadn't been diagnosed bipolar at that time, but I have been bipolar since I was 15. It seems to make a difference now that I know, because I realize there's more at stake in being off my meds than just another depression. As if that can't be bad enough alone! :)

I appreciate the replies ladies. I think I will get the LH kit, it will just be safer to minimize time spent ttc so I can go as long as possible through the pregnancy before having to go back on meds.

Anyway, otherwise, things are status quo. I hope you are both (and all) having a good day. (((Hugs))) back to you.

Kristen