Major freakout
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| Sat, 01-29-2005 - 3:59pm |
I guess I haven't hit the depression completely after all...still ultra rapid cycling. This is going on two weeks. I just want this to go away. Not knowing where I'm going to be from one minute to the next really sucks.
I just flipped to irritable and went into a major rage over something so stupid and irrational but I guess that's always been my way. I didn't throw anything thankfully.
I think that is the first rage that mom's bf has seen me in. I don't care. He can go to h*** if he doesn't like it.
My mom doesn't get it either though. All she's probably thinking is "Great we're back to the way things were in high school" She doesn't know I'm bipolar or any of my diagnoses for that matter. We know that normies don't get us even when they know but when they don't know it's even more inexplicable.
I'm hoping things settle down soon. I almost feel like I'm better on no meds than where I'm at right now. When I upped the ADs I went manic but was already depressed so ended up in a major mixed state. I've added the moodstabilizer and now I'm ultra rapid cycling (actually I think that started before I started the meds) but still.
Now the rage is gone and I just want to cry.
Sorry to vent. So much for "I don't want to bring up my probs when there's so many others having such a rough time"
Amanda


Hey Amanda. It may well be none of my business, but if I can ask, why doesn't your mom know about your diagnosis?
You're right, mixed episodes bite the major weenie. I tend to have those also, and I swear that I know why they are considered the most dangerous type of episode. The flip-flopping is enough to drive ANYone nuts. I'm sorry that you're struggling with this now. Please keep posting! People are always in different places here on the board, but everyone's important. It helps others, too; not just you. I was coming to post my own stuff and reading your post got me out of myself for a bit, now I'm feeling better. It helps just to make contact with others who understand the ups and downs, and they don't have to be tragic to post them here.
Anyway, you never know who you're helping by posting! :)
Hope you're doing better!
(((Hugs)))
Kristen
Amanda,
Are you sick of hearing from me yet? I have a thought and please remember it's only a thought but, your antid's could be causeing your rapid cycles. You just up yours and this started. The reason I say this is because SSRI's are known to mess with bipolars if they aren't on enough mood stabilzer. Of Course I don't know what you're on so it is only a thought. You might want to get into see your regular doc for some tweeking. Rapid cycling sucks! Their is not reason to continue it. Let me know what you think and what you take. I'll do some looking for you. If you know what your med is called in the states, that might help too.
Love,
Jamie
Edited 1/29/2005 7:50 pm ET ET by ourcottage
Love,
Jaime has a good point.
I think the others here had some good advice for you. I don't have much to add except that I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now...I can definitely relate to the rapid ups and downs, and it's awful. Hang in there, OK?
Rose