I need some input please

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
I need some input please
2
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 9:55pm
Has any one noticed a lack of sexual drive when taking Effexor?
Also, has any one just stopped taking their meds entirely? If so what happened ?
I am asking because ther man I love dearly is very ill with Bipolar. he has shut me out and I am stunned and bewildered to say the least. He was recently home with his dad ( major trigger ) and lost his mother suddenly last August...
We have been through a lot together but all of a sudden he appears to want me gone.. I don't know what I did. I really think he is better than this disease.. but he doens't get proper treatment.. he doesn't get counselling and his meds aren't monitored properly in my opinion. I am in the medical field and I have studied this illness... I know he can have a better life than he thinks he deserves.. and he said that I pushed him too hard... I did not mean to, I think I thought I could love the self loathing out of him. Was I wrong? Was I sertting myself up for failure?
I love this man... I believe he is a good man under all the anger and hurt.. he is lashing out at me right now.. he has said no more contact... I don't know if this is it or if I should still keep fighting for him. Should I fight for him? Or should I leave him to self destruct?
Erica
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 02-03-2005 - 10:55pm

Erica,


I come at this from two perspectives--I am BiPolar and my former fiance (father of my DD) is schizophrenic.


As a BP person I know we can be our own worst enemies and are very good at sabotaging ourselves, even while we are secretly hoping someone will save us from ourselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 12:46am

Erica:

I think almost everyone here has stopped taking their meds completely at some point in time, and the results can be disasterous. I was off my meds for a long time (years) and eventually deteriorated to the point that I had filed bankruptcy, gone through several jobs in a short period of time, and was once again thousands in debt. I was on the verge of losing my home (and probably my child). It can be really ugly.

Unfortunately, if this man has said no more contact and sticks with that, there isn't much you CAN do. However, he may cycle in a different direction and want to be back together before you know it.

It is my opinion that you can't save someone else. You can help them help themselves, and you can steer them in the right direction, but they have to make the decision to get well themselves. It's hard to do. Not only do you have to change several aspects of your life, you have to give up the parts of the disease that most of us like.

I wish you the best of luck, and please feel free to post as much as necessary.

Tracey