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| Sat, 02-05-2005 - 11:34pm |
I have been sad all day, frequently on the verge of tears, and I did cry this morning. Last night was the night that we started having dd sleep in her bed/room all night, and it just broke my heart to hear her. It wasn't as bad as I expected in terms of the amount of crying, but at 21 months old she has a HUGE vocabulary and speaks very well. It broke my heart to hear her crying "Open the door mama!" and "Love you mama! Nuggle mama!" (nuggle is snuggle - she can't say S yet.) The other things weren't quite so hard to cope with, but the whole night just broke my heart. So dh and I struggled with that all night, when I wasn't in there comforting her and she wasn't actually sleeping. For those who don't remember, we're staying with my in-laws while we get ready to buy a house, and then I found out in the morning that they had been up all night as well, and my MIL had been crying during the night while Jenny was upset and crying for me and her daddy. So needless to say it's been a rough 24 hours, and now that it's nighttime again, it just starts all over. I've had a headache all day, I'm very tired, and I've just felt so sad all day. Tonight I lower my Lamictal dose to 50 mg, and in four more days I'll be off all meds, except for my Zantac. I just want to curl up in bed with my baby and hold her while she sleeps. I feel so terrible for rocking her little world like this when separation anxiety is so present for her, but dh and I need our time alone too. That goes without saying, because we'll be trying for #2 next month! So she has to get used to staying in her room again even though it's tearing me up.
Ok, so enough rambling. Posting didn't help this time anyway, I'm just as sad now as I was when I started this post. That's just the way it goes sometimes though, huh?
Kristen

kristen, my swing lasted about as long as yours did. so i can relate to where you are at on more than one level.
Kristen,
I remember those days SO well and it does break your heart, but for both your sakes you have to be strong--try to keep the going into her to a minimum because it just encourages her to "ask" for more.
Traci, thanks. It helps more than you probably know. I hope you were able to even out somewhat after your mini-swing. How are things today?
At this particular moment, I'd much rather sleep with dd at night than dh! I am so frustrated with him...
Kristen
Thanks Marci. She's in a toddler bed. We got her one for Christmas, and she just loves it! She goes to sleep in it very happily, but still wakes between about 10:00 and 10:30, wanting to come in with us. Last night was much better, but I was so exhausted when she cried at about 2:30 that I just brought her in. She did well until that time. I think I will talk to her pediatrician tomorrow about a med to help her sleep, perhaps Benadryl. The only potential problem with any sedating med for a baby is that it can wind them up instead of calming them down. But I think I'll give it a shot if her doc is willing to recommend something. If she doesn't, I probably will just try the Benadryl.
Thanks!
Kristen
Kristen, I'm sorry it's been a bad day. I haven't gone through something like that with a child, but I can imagine it must be so hard...hopefully your dd will adjust quickly. Just wanted to let you know I'll keep you in my thoughts,
Rose
Hi Rose, and thanks. Saturday night was better, and then last night she finally got the full-force cold that her cousins have, so she was in with us from 11:30 on! It prolongs the whole process, but what can you do? :)
Hugs,
Kristen
Kristen,
I remember the struggle with both my kids getting them to sleep in their own room - NOT fun.