horrible night *trigs*
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horrible night *trigs*
| Fri, 02-11-2005 - 7:01am |
My mother started a huge fight with me last night because I didn't clean up the kitchen to her satisfaction. She yelled and yelled until I finally lost it and flew into a screaming rage. I tried so hard not to loose it, but she wouldn't stop. After about 15 minutes of hearing her scream at me, I lost it. I practically blew my vocal chords out and slammed my hands and arms on the table so hard I have huges black bruises all over my hands and arms. I even thought about the big S word. I was going to leave and her nasty remark "Why don't you go drive your car off a bridge" nearly triggered me to do just that. My mother is more bi-polar than I am but she won't admit it. She flies into more rages than I do. Unfortunately, we all live in the same house together and we can't sell it now, so we are stuck. This and the insurance company playing games with me is about to drive me over the edge. Why can't I handle stress? Some people thrive on it, but it drives me absolutely crazy. My poor husband was horrified at all the bruising. He just doesn't understand.
I'll try to get some work done now.
Thanks for listening.
Jodie :(
I'll try to get some work done now.
Thanks for listening.
Jodie :(

(((((Jodie))))),
I am especially sensitive to be yelled at (or even being around yelling)--when I was a kid ANYBODY in the house being yelled at inevitably meant I was going to end up getting a beating for something, so I can certainly relate.
Living with your parent(s) as an adult has all kinds of baggage with it and even more so if your mom is undx'd BP.
Oh Jodie,
I just can't imagine what it's like living with another bp who is in denile. My dh is in wonderful mental health and very nice and I about took his head off yesterday just because he was talking to me while I was on the phone with medicare. I'm pretty stable on meds right now too.
I'm sorry the insurance company is still messing with you. I just don't understand how they can do that to you.
You're not alone at not handleing stress. I can't handle the stress of everyday things. I can't imagine what you're going through with your Mom, the insurance company, you husband not understanding it all and working. I admire the stress you can handle. I'll bet if you put pencil to paper you would see a lot more stressors then I have listed.
Take care of you.
Love,
Jamie
Love,