"I had been putting it off, mostly becuase I felt like a fool for ending things every month just about. I do feel bad about not giving him any explanation, but truthfully, he's heard it all before not that long ago. He'll know what's going on."
Oh honey, I could have written that same thing about my experience . . . I seriously "ended" things no less than 50 times before I truly ENDED. I was the definition of the Girl Who Cried Wolf. I think my XAP is probably still waiting for the day when I break NC and come texting or emailing back to him . . .
You don't owe him an explanation. And yes, if you're anything like me, he's heard it all before. A thousand times over.
Silence speaks louder than ANY words could at this point.
Welcome to the board . . . hang in there. Endings are tough, I ain't gonna lie . . . but it gets better, and you've found a wonderful community of support.
Make this your LAST ending, k? :) You can do this--blocking him from any avenues of communication is a GREAT start. Just keep it that way.
GO YOU!!!!! How bloody great- Im so glad you are here too! Well not glad you are hurting but glad you have stopped the rollercoaster- its just so bloody exhausting!
I am here with you. We'll get through!!! Did he ever respond to your email?
Welcome to EAS :) You're off to a good start by blocking him.
<<>>
It doesn't have to be eloquent, just a simple "I'm finished, don't contact me anymore" will do. Disappearing has worked for some enders - it didn't work for me. It spurred numerous hateful voice mails until I finally had to say those words. No matter what, remember that silence will only work if you REMAIN silent. NC, no question, no matter what.
<<>>
I didn't either. I just started reading everything I could on EAS, so make sure you do that - especially the Healing Library.
<<<>>>
The bad news is, there's a pretty good chance he'll try to contact you when he wants his "fix". You need to prepare yourself for that.
Take it one moment at a time right now. We're all here for you.
Pages
Congrats Janie
No more fretting over your grammar and dangly modifiers then ...... focus on you, you're
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
"I had been putting it off, mostly becuase I felt like a fool for ending things every month just about. I do feel bad about not giving him any explanation, but truthfully, he's heard it all before not that long ago. He'll know what's going on."
Oh honey, I could have written that same thing about my experience . . . I seriously "ended" things no less than 50 times before I truly ENDED. I was the definition of the Girl Who Cried Wolf. I think my XAP is probably still waiting for the day when I break NC and come texting or emailing back to him . . .
You don't owe him an explanation. And yes, if you're anything like me, he's heard it all before. A thousand times over.
Silence speaks louder than ANY words could at this point.
Welcome to the board . . . hang in there. Endings are tough, I ain't gonna lie . . . but it gets better, and you've found a wonderful community of support.
Make this your LAST ending, k? :) You can do this--blocking him from any avenues of communication is a GREAT start. Just keep it that way.
-Juliette
by xxiced
JANIE!!!!!!!!
GO YOU!!!!! How bloody great- Im so glad you are here too! Well not glad you are hurting but glad you have stopped the rollercoaster- its just so bloody exhausting!
I am here with you. We'll get through!!! Did he ever respond to your email?
IggyXX
Iggy.
slap your wrists............
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
ooops I should explain- this was an email Janie sent her xAP weeks ago. Janie and I were on MAS together.
maybe we should change your moniker to 'its all about me' ............
lucky you're with AAMI ....do you get that ad?
New Choices, New Chapter,
New Challenges,
Hi JJ -
Welcome to EAS :) You're off to a good start by blocking him.
<<>>
It doesn't have to be eloquent, just a simple "I'm finished, don't contact me anymore" will do. Disappearing has worked for some enders - it didn't work for me. It spurred numerous hateful voice mails until I finally had to say those words. No matter what, remember that silence will only work if you REMAIN silent. NC, no question, no matter what.
<<>>
I didn't either. I just started reading everything I could on EAS, so make sure you do that - especially the Healing Library.
<<<>>>
The bad news is, there's a pretty good chance he'll try to contact you when he wants his "fix". You need to prepare yourself for that.
Take it one moment at a time right now. We're all here for you.
Bodhi
LOL!
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Bodhi.
Pages