Don't get it??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Don't get it??????
2
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:25pm

I just don’t get it guys………WHY do I continue to go back and forth in regards to how I feel towards XAP?? For a while I hate him, then actually find myself feeling “sincere” in regards to him, then I go through a phase where I’m like….”whatever” and now I find today that I just HATE HIM?!??!?!??!



iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:29pm

Hi Crazygirl-



I apologize that I am not more familiar with your story, but how many days NC are you? I ask because this sounds like the ups and downs of the first few weeks. This is normal. You are cycling through and trying to process a lot of things and you are trying to do it quickly so that you stop hurting. True understanding takes time. Heck, I am 7 months out and still have a long way to go. But in those early days of NC, the pain is immediate and you hate him, you love him, you miss him, and it's natural to long for the day when you are indifferent. But you have to work to get there. So, today, take a deep breath. Go back down and read some of your favorite posts in the healing library. Take a moment for you if you can and get outside. The weather is beautiful where I am; I hope it is where you are. This ending process has many stages. You are just at the beginning, but if you commit to it, you will start to feel better soon and then it will be easier to process and deal with the cycling emotions you are feeling.



Hugs,



Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:58pm

Thank you secretlife for sharing your thoughts and for your words of encouragement.



I am 13 weeks of LC; we work together and it just hurts to see him be over me, over it, to feel he gives me not a second thought, to feel all that just hurts. I want him to feel ALL that I am feeling and I know I shouldn't care but I do and can't help it.



:(