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| Fri, 02-25-2005 - 5:01pm |
hi all,
things around here are just never dull, that's for sure. i've had a mixture of good and bad days this past week, mostly down but at least, thank goodness, the rage appears to be gone.
the good thing that happened was that i finished my research paper that is due on sunday yesterday, along with my other final assignment for this term. talked to my counselor and she told me if i continue at this pace i will have my associates by may of 06. and then my bachelors about 2 years later +/-.
my mother is still in rehab and nobody seems to know yet when she'll be home and/or the care she will require. so, i've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that i'll probably get a call saying they're discharging her on that day. so i will do what i need to do and not let it get to me or at least try.
******possible trigger******
last night while performing a 'self-exam' i found something that shouldn't be there. now, of course my mind has shot straight to the big C. i called and scheduled a mamo and an appt with my gyn. mamo is tuesday gyn is friday of next week. i think it would be a vast understatement to say that i'm scared to death right now, but i am.
i met with tdoc today and we talked about this and she kept making sure that i know this might be nothing. i just can't get my mind away from it. cancer runs in my family on my dad's side. both grandparents and my dad passed away due to cancer. strike 2 is that i smoke. and now, this. well, if nothing else, quitting smoking is now at the top of my list. i just hope its not too late.
sorry to be so gloom and doom, but i needed to get this off my chest........no pun intended. thanks for listening. and if you get a chance, send some prayers and positive thoughts my way. thanks
hugs
traci



Traci...I am SO sorry you're having to go through this...but please keep in mind what the dr. already told you, its probably going to be NOTHING!
thanks keli. i'm really trying to focus on what the doc told me, but it's difficult to say the least. i did break down and ask a friend to go with me on tuesday. she had offered and at the time i didn't take her up on it, but jamie pretty much convinced me to take my friend up on her offer. asking for help has always been one of my short-comings. i am getting better though. i appreciate your support. i do have your contact info and i may just take you up on your offer. thanks again.
love and hugs,
traci
Traci,
I hope everything goes well next week.
thanks morgaine. i appreciate the info and the support. i can only hope that it is actually 'nothing' but if it is something then i will definitely seek immediate treatment. i guess my biggest fear is that if it is cancer, that it's in more areas than just the one. that's my biggest battle right now. that, along with trying to stay positive. thanks again for the support. i really appreciate it.
hugs and love
traci