I liked the darn jeans!
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| Sat, 09-18-2010 - 9:49am |
Hello gang,
I am feeling like starting a thread, I realize its the weekend and all but am hoping that I will give you ladies, especially the single ladies something to reflect on. For the newbies, I am a tweener, over 9 months NC, still here getting me back together, learning about myself. I have been well....still have rough patches but they have little to do wit him, more to do with me and my own self awareness. I still flag my behaviors and am keenly aware of my interactions with all people esp men, not MM.
So there is my rant...now to the point of the thread. Hope this is fun. Hope it makes us laugh. No doubt if we all chime in, we will have some good laughs...
I had these pair of jeans I loved. I wore em around exAp once and he commented how he did not like em. I was so hurt. I stuffed those jeans deep down in my closet. I hid em and I was never to wear them again. I like the darn jeans. What we do for a man when we think we are in love....whew. We will move the heavens and earth. Change our routine, change our appearance, drop everything just to see em. What a ding dong. The same applied to a bunch of clothing. It was his way to cut me down...sure he complemented me from time to time...but soon I was only wearing what he liked to see me in. NI honestly did not like some of the ugly shiz he had me wearing...
This is the funny part....this man did not like hair....so I was constantly having to shave. I have a odd shaped shower and I used to prop my legs up against the wall to get all those really tough spots to make sure i looked like a hairless child....one time the soap and the water got the best of me and I fell right on my back....It hurt like hell...but I layed there laughing and crying at the same time. I was ok....but man looking back....HILARIOUS!
The dumb things we do...the way we went above and beyond...the actresses we became. ALL SUCH A FARCE. One big fat phony fest........
List the funny/stupid/crazy thing that you did/or failed to do for exAP....it could be acting like you liked something you didnt.....even if it was just listening to him and all his baggage... I bet there are a lot of similarities and we will get a chuckle here and there....
Oh and by the way. I find those jeans recently and I still love em and I wear them and smile and feel like I own me and what I do and how I think of me...I gotta be true to myself. Never changing for anyone again. Take me as I am or have nothing at all.
Can not wait to see your posts...come on gang.....
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida

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Hmmm Im sure I'll think of others... but a quick one now...
I have a black and white striped top- its not something I usually where but people comment on it and its nice. He said I looked like a zebra in it. Ouch! Never wore it in front of him again- schmuck!
Iggy
Hi Luvin,
K, I'll give this a whirl :)
My XAP and I live 1700 miles away from each other, so the times I would see him would typically be when I flew to meet him on these weekend business trips he would take. So, I'd pay for my plane ticket, food and other expenses to get to where he was traveling, and THEN I would spend the majority of my time either walking around the city alone or sitting alone in a hotel room, waiting for him to get done working.
And of course, part of his "work" always included dinner/drinks each night with his colleagues (couldn't be rude and bow out of dinner, now), so I'd even typically eat dinner alone each Friday and Saturday night, waiting for him to get done schmoozing . . . everything was always according to his schedule, of course. So basically, these weekends would cost me hundreds of dollars for just a few measly hours of his time and attention! Gah! I can't believe I did that, time and time again!
The real doozy was when I flew to his city one weekend to celebrate our birthdays together. I paid for my plane ticket, a nice hotel for 3 nights, new clothes, wine and cheese and chocolate and strawberries--I probably dropped a 1000 dollars on the weekend, cuz I wanted it to be "special." (gag).
You know what he bought me? For my birthday? After spending a grand to make his "special?" Lunch at a fast-food Mexican joint. A chicken burrito. Niiiccee.
For months, I had him in my contacts under the name "Chicken Burrito" (during a time when I was trying very hard to maintain NC)so every time he tried to fish with a call or text, "Chicken Burrito" would come up and I would be reminded how very little effort he ever really put forth.
Sheesh, what we did for these guys when we were so lost in the fog . . . crazy!
-Juliette
by xxiced
juliette,
you are not alone at all. I have paid for all the bells and whistles of all kinds of nonsense, now I need that damn money. I spent tickets on a trip to Hawaii. I can never use the ticket because it in his name. I tried to say everything to get the airlines to give me a credit. It did not work. He was supposed to pay me back...I left him and I knew he never would pay me. I even told the airlines that he had died....to me he had. Hoping I would get that pricey ticket credit, they needed a death certificate. Darn...I spent so much time and energy on such a loser....
I bought football tix too...I took my son and we had the best time ever...that is one I do not regret. Bout the only thing I ever paid for in his regard that I do not regret.
At least we have learned and do not have to worry about such nonsense again....
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
My XMM is one of those toucy-feely guys.
~Iddy~
Ah Luvin,
such a great thread - I always had long hair until after my third baby and I was TIRED of having to do it all the time - so I cut it short. Both STBX and xAP LOVED my long hair so about 4 weeks into my NC and I had my Tawanda moment (think fried green tomatoes movie) and walked into my bathroom and cut my hair short again. REALLY short and I love it! I cut off about 7 inches to make it boy style - and I NEVER EVER plan on having long hair again. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the ease of short hair and it shows off my cute dangly earrings.
LOL
Some here know how difficult a time I've had for awhile regarding my A 3 yrs ago. The past few weeks have still been rough but I'm FINALLY seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
This isn't quite the same as some of your posts. But tomorrow is our DD's bday. We have a party planned with family tonight, and her kids party tomorrow.
I was remembering when I was pregnant with her and my H rubbing my back, my feet and every single night rubbing cocoa butter on my belly. That's love and it's real. I'm thinking xMM wouldn't have been so "In Love" with me then. LOL
My xMM telling me "I've loved you more than anyone over the past 20 yrs" (gee, and you never once thought to call or something?? DUH)
And when we agreed to meet, "We have to meet somewhere about an hour away from here so I won't run into anyone I know." And when I did drive all that way he actually asked me how long it took and I told him about 1 hour and a half his response was, "Wow! I must be really special!"
Oh yeah he's "special" all right. And I'm glad I wasn't his type after all. WOW DOES THAT FEEL GREAT TO SAY!!
Thanks for your input ladies.
I had one more...I thought of. I bought him a bracelet. It was a nice bracelet. Had little diamonds in it. Was not gawdy, very distinctive for a man. Got a good deal...do not ask me why I bought this bracelet. He had never bought me more than dinner. Yet I cooked for him all the time...
Anyway, I gave him the bracelet and he immediately complained. Said the diamonds were not big enough. Said I needed to replace it with bigger diamonds. What a total brat? That was the beginning of the end of my dislike. Selfish man....
Happy No Contact Weekend to you....
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
luvin,
O.M.G. what gall that man had!! The diamonds weren't big enough.!
Back to the jeans. My xAP did not like women in jeans. He saw me for the first time in almost 30 years and I had on expensive designer jeans and a cashmere sweater. Later he told me how he didn't like jeans, so I never wore jeans in front of him again. Geez how stupid of me. But of course he wore old clothing and basically looked like a major geek. He loved for me to look nice and of course I made enormous efforts to do that, but he never made the same efforts and was quite pleased with himself that he didn't. Like many posters here, I too went out of my way to please xAP and so often did something way out of character. Luvin, I liked my jeans too !
Same here Luvin, I was the one who gave the gifts, many of them over the years of the affair. xAP never gave me one thing. I look back on that and wonder why I couldn't see what I was doing.
Hi all
Not sure this is a great thread for me. My xAP was very generous. He paid for the lunches, the coffees, the drinks, the hotels, our trips away in very nice hotels, and the gifts.
I guess he may have written a lot of it off on his business? And the
Fun post Luvin :)
Let's see...pathetic things for Bodhi...my XAP didn't have hair "issues" like yours, but I did have a razor and shaving cream in my office bathroom for those last minute romantic moments on the oh-so-comfortable office floor.
Regarding clothes, XAP was so insecure and jealous - there were several things that he thought were too low cut, too short, etc. It's nice to wear whatever I want now!
Bodhi
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