why why why

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
why why why
19
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 7:52am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 9:39am

Dear Alice,

I am hoping the vets will come along - but until they do, I just wanted to throw my support your way.

"My H still works a lot of hours, still looks at me like I am invisible, still barks orders at me, and is still too tired all the time...sigh."

I would like to address this. I would like to know what you are doing to re-invest in your marriage and to assist your husband in helping the marriage succeed? You had an affair Alice, and you're comparing your husband to the unrealistic fantasy that you have created in your xAP. IMHO (-: Therefore, there is nothing that husband can do right in your eyes, because they are clouded by your need/want of a 'fix'. Your husband is working to support the family Alice.

If you're not happy in the marriage, what steps can YOU take to improve it? How can you re-direct all the energy you are spending thinking and pining away for xAP toward your family? If you husband isn't able/willing/wanting to make the marriage work, then perhaps you need to consider other options. No one is holding you hostage in an unhappy marriage. Are you in therapy? And HOW in the heck was he able to contact you up until 7 days ago?! You can not move on completely until you SHUT HIM OUT COMPLETELY! You are constantly flirting with a DDay Alice. And what is this, you have resisted for the most part? Why are you reading them?! You are making the choice to prolong your healing Alice. You are hurting yourself now and if this behaviour doesn't stop, your going to take your family down with you. Not xAP.

"one quite mean and ugly (someone should tell them fishing attempts ought to be warm and fuzzy if you actually want a response"

HUH?! So if he was being all lovey, you would respond? It sounds like you have been breaking NC left, right and center.

You are an addict Alice. A 'dry drunk' who is unable/unwilling to really move past this affair and figure out your life. I know that you know this. Only YOU have the answers Alice to why you aren't moving forward. Instead of facing your real life head on, you're allowing your thoughts to drift off to lala land. Then, when real life demands your attention, you resent what you see. Real life doesn't give you the same highs, does it? You've gotten use to getting high off a fantasy, instead of the loveliness of a life lead with dignity, self-respect and integrity. It is harder to get high off of stability and predictability when you have taken the easier route, and smoked crack instead. You have to re-frame your goals in life Alice - you wanna get 'high' all the time and crash with the lows? or do you want self-fulfillment, and to be loved and cared for authentically? It's your choice and you have to work for it. Unlike crack that demands nothing of you to get high, real life demands accountability, action and commitment to happen.

We can give you suggestions and mirror back to you irrational thoughts/behaviours, but it rests with you to take the advice and get the professional help you need. EAS alone can not get you to where you need to go ...

With care & concern,

TU.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 9:45am

Hi Alice.



You are escaping to thoughts of xAP every chance you get.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 11:55am

Oh Alice-



I have to echo what TU and Victory have said. 1- What are you doing to reinvest in your M? What can you do to make improvements there? Remember, you are not a victim. This stuff isn't happening to you- you are allowing it to happen. So stop it :) It takes 2 to make a

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 4:20pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 7:16pm

I have blocked him but I cannot block texts.



Who is your mobile carrier - we'll be able to tell you if that's accurate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 7:41pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 7:51pm
Unfortunately - tmobile doesn't let you block specific numbers, only text all together - at least for now - I'd suggest renaming his number a new name like jerk - xap, chicken burrito, sad n' lonely - whatever name you want to give him to remind yourself NOT to read it - to delete it. One girl on here renamed his number EAS - Don't answer or something like it. You can do this - you are better off without him - regardless of what he feels or doesn't feel for you - YOU need to decide how YOU feel about YOU. YOU are worth more than crumbs - you are worth clarity, peace and joy -
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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 7:58pm

All you had to do was go to the T-Mobile site. You know Alice, if you really want to end this madness, you'd be doing everything humanly possible to make it happen.

Here's the link:

http://support.t-mobile.com/doc/tm23533.xml?docid=3120&docid=869&navtypeid=6&pagetypeid=7&prevPageIndex=147&lid=y

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 8:04pm

Actually - read on down

Can I block messages from a specific number?

No. At this time you are not able to block messages or calls from a specific mobile number. You can set up a filter if the message is coming from an e-mail address. For more information, go to How do I filter e-mails sent to my phone?

She'd have to block ALL text messages via the tmobile website.

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Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 8:07pm

My point is, she could have found out this information on her own if she really wanted to find out, instead of asking if it were possible to block.



   ~Iddy~ 


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