Possibly offending....use caution
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| Mon, 02-28-2005 - 12:51pm |
Why on Earth can't people just keep their mouths shut when they have no idea what we are going through. I hope I do not offend any of you with this post, I'm just fed up.
First, my neighbor says if I go to church that God will heal me. OK! I'm spiritual but not religious. I believe there is a higher being, but when I look at the teachings of God, well....I'm sorry yall, I just don't get it. To me listening to a man or woman stand up and yell or preach what THEY think the bible is teaching is not for me. When I am ready, I will pick it up and read it myself and determine from there what to believe. I just don't understand why a Baptist church isn't welcoming to Catholics. Isn't it the same God. These are rhetorical questions, because I grew up with a Grandfather that was a Baptist preacher, my family is devoted and dedicated to the church...I am not. To me that does NOT make me a bad or evil person. I do good, I don't steal, lie, kill, cheat, etc.... but to my neighbor I'm living in hell because I haven't taken God to my heart. I mean...some people believe in Sciencetology, or Hinduism, or a totally different God. I'm at a loss, but am more angry at my idiot neighbor than anything. I tried to explain that I'm sick, I have two illness, one could kill me and the other could possibly make me kill myself, I am not going to die, not from these two diseases. I may burn in Hell, but it isn't because I'm being punished for being sick. I could have went right through them yesterday.
I'm a good citizen, honest, trustworthy, kind, compassionate, sometimes postal, but still......I'm a good hearted person.
Secondly, when people tell us how to react to situations. Oh that ticks me totally off. Don't let it get to you is the stupidest statement I've ever heard, or you can fight it, you have no reason to be upset, you have no reason to be crying. Buck up I had it worse in my thirties. OMG.....Why can't people just shut up! I hear I understand one moment and the next the same person is saying something wrong to me which will make me cry. I have not found a way to fight bp and if I could don't think I wouldn't do it. I HATE feeling this way and people think we can just not think of it, or brush it off. Yeah, I feel like asking them if they have any illnesses so I can tell them to straighten up and stop trying to find pity. I just can't discuss anything with anyone other than you all and sometimes I just feel like I do nothing but complain.
I don't know.....I'm having a very BAD day. I'm working...I better go.
I hope I did NOT offend anyone. I would NEVER want to upset any of you.
Carla

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Carla,
I think organized religion was supposed to have started on spiritual ground but, has some what lost it's way.
Love,
Hi Carla,
I don't know if this is the same thing but I have a real problem with people who tell us (bipolar and other not so well understood disorders) to just chin up... or even worse... that going to church will heal us... First off, you would NEVER say that to a person with diabetes or a heart condition, or to someone in a wheelchair! How dare people assume that our condition is something that we can just 'fix'. I mean some people really do believe that God will fix those issues if you ask, but if that were the case no one would have diabetes or be in wheelchairs! They would just ask to be fixed!
Secondly, in my case, I think BP makes me just more irritable on these two subjects! LOL! I mean sometimes I just don't have any patience and knowing that someone is saying something so stupid just makes me want to scream at them... there are enough issues to deal with without dealing with other people's ignorance. That said, I try not to vent on people knowing that maybe my own condition makes me want to be rude to them. I have my own opinions (and they are strong ones) but I also don't want to make enemies...
I think venting here is a great idea... and NO you did not offend me!
Cat
Cat,
Exactly, but I still blow up on the ones that won't listen to me. I do not know a lot about bp, but I read and I know I'm not doing this to myself and there is NO quick fixes, if there were we'd all be healthy, there would be no illness anywhere.
I should clarify, I don't blow up on a person for not listening to me, only when I keep hearing the same thing from the same person on different occasions.
I love my mother, but she has no idea what I'm going through. The entire time I was having troubles and my xdh was really setting me off, my Mom, she said, don't let him get to you. OK, I tried to do that, he** there was no way of brushing off what was going on. She sort of makes me feel like a failure. My Aunt has a borderline personality disorder, she tells my Mom I'm not as bad as I put on. WHAT? How the ______ does she know what I'm going through. She's even called me to tell me what meds I need. They mis-dx'd her and she was on bp meds for some time, now they think she is only bpd.
I just wish we could get into peoples heads for a while, they would shut up and be more compassionate. I don't want pity, Lord no, I just want understanding.
The hardest thing I have to say is that I'm mentally ill. Why? Because I heard it my entire life and to find out it was true really hurt. Now, I'm ok, but I still have tons to come to grips with. I will....one day.
Thanks so much
Carla
((((((carla)))))) i can so relate to what you are saying. people i know irl often find me to be a very quiet person. the reason for this is because i got so tired of hearing 'suck it up' or 'it's not that bad' or 'just don't let it get to you.' my tdoc and i discussed the whole organized religion thing the other day in fact. and i told her pretty much what you have said. i'm a spiritual person but not a religious person. and was relieved to hear that she is the same way. i just got tired of being preached to, being told that if i sinned i'd burn in h*(^. then i look at my mother, an active alcoholic, who tends to go to church especially after she's tied one on the night before. to me that's just hypocritical and it fries me. so i choose to believe in what i believe in and keep it to myself. i think i've told maybe a handful of people about my bp. and these are people that i trust implicitly. i haven't told any of my family members because my mother and sister both would tell me i'm full of it and that i need to either go to church and pray for forgiveness or just to shake it off. ask for forgiveness???? forgiveness for what? being sick? since when was that a sin?
so i can definitely relate to your frustrations. don't feel bad for coming here to vent and complain. that's why this board is here. because we do understand and can relate to others experiences. and we can support each other through the rough times. so keep posting.
hugs,
traci
Thanks again,
Carla
(((((Carla))))),
You've hit two of the biggest hot points for me!
Marci,
Thank you. It does help me to know I'm not alone. I love what you say to people. Hope you don't mind if I steal that. LOL Seriously, do you mind?
I just guess I feel that if I'm to believe the Bible, why am I not to believe another religion? The people who have that faith, believe, why should I be any different? I know I do not like to be preached to.
Oh well...I'm like you, I'll ask when I get there.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla
Carla,
It's very resuring to know right now that not only am I not alone in feeling alone...I hope that got out OK and you get what I'm saying :P
Since I was dignosed with this back in December, it feels like everybody I love and respect has had some kind of diagreement or argument with me over something I said. I've been called "rude", "manipluitive" "disrespectful" and basicially unwilling to change. Everybody seemingly "understands what I'm going through" because "these are things everybody deals with." It really does make you feel ashamed and guilty to be this way, when in reality, the only thing that set it aside from other treatable illnesses like diebities is the fact it's MENTAL and NOT PHYSICAL. There's the same potiental for death if left untreated, but it can be managed. I know where my weeknesses are and I'm trying to fix them (even though they never will be to an extent), but you don't have to remind me by putting me down every twenty seconds.
Mind you, through all of this, I have had a bits of relief and I've been thinking a little more clearly when it comes to putting myself first (my pdoc has told me I'm in a mixed state, therefore I'm having extreme fluxuating moments of highs and lows) and I've basicially decided my priorities for the next two months is school, getting my health in order and work. When I'm out of school for the summer in May, then I'll take my break. In the mean time, I'm just going to take it as I comes, try to keep it cool and remind myself once in a while there are good things in this world to turn to. (Music, my own faith in God, my art, etc)
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