not sure if I'm bp...
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| Thu, 03-03-2005 - 4:32am |
I think I may have Cyclothymic Disorder2 "Chronic fluctuating mood disturbance involving periods of hypomanic symptoms and periods of depressive symptoms. It is a milder form of bipolar disorder; the periods of both depressive and hypomanic symptoms are shorter, less severe, and do not occur with regularity. Many, but not all, people with cyclothymic disorder may ultimately develop a more severe form of bipolar disorder." I get major ups when I just feel so happy and bubbly and then a few hours later I feel like jumping off a bridge. They happen often, once a week maybe more. I'm a very internally dwelling person so not many people realize my moods change so dramatically. My husband notices if I get a major high because I am comfortable with him, he sees the real me more then anyone else, I know I can talk to him and trust him. He says he wishes I was always like that. I don't usually let him see my major lows, only if it happens during that "time of the month", its a bit harder to hide then I guess. I have noticed that almost every time I have my days off, I get low. I'm home alone all night (I work night shifts and I try to keep my sleep schedule somewhat regular) my husband and I don't have the same nights off. I have to fight with the urges to cut and delve deeper into depression. I don't know why sometimes I just want to drown myself in everything I know will make me worse.

Hi,
Well, the only way to really know if you are Cyclothymic is to get diagnosed by a psychiatrist. There are tests (written and verbal) they can do and questions they will ask you to make a diagnosis.
On the other hand, being Cyclothymic myself I can say that your symptoms sound a lot like mine. I fought mine for a long time before I got diagnosed and then I fought them some more for a few years before I finally admitted I needed medication. Now I am doing better, but it is a lifelong struggle and not easy to deal with.
I would recommend you see a qualified doctor to get a diagnosis and also that you make sure you take notes with all of your symptoms along, as this disorder is very often misdiagnosed.
Good Luck!
Cat