Thanks so much for asking about me, Keli...I'm very sorry if I worried you. I really appreciate all the responses to my last post, and I read them all and have been thinking about them...I just haven't figured things out enough yet to post detailed replies (which I know probably makes me something of a hypocrite, and I feel really bad about that). But I wanted to let everyone here know I really appreciate them.
I haven't been doing very well...I did go out to a silly movie last night with friends (something we've never done before in the middle of the week, being students with busy schedules)...I tried to act like I enjoyed it, but I could barely contain my tears and feelings of hopelessness.
I also saw my old pdoc yesterday, and she encouraged me to stick with med school as long as I'm interested in it and see how it goes. I'm not sure that that's the best idea, but I also doubt that making a big decision right now would be the best thing to do. She also changed the doses of my meds around and added an anti-anxiety med...which is OK with me...she wants to see if my current meds will help before trying a new one.
Which brings me to today...I'm thinking it must be from the med change interacting with my nervous stomach...although my stomach has never been this bad before. I started the new med doses last night, and since then my digestive system has been more upset than I think it's ever been in my life...I even tried drinking just a Boost shake, and that wouldn't even stay in! Sorry for the detail. I guess it may be a good thing because I'm too weak and feeling too bad physically to focus on my emotions for the moment.
It's been a scary few days, feeling like I could barely contain the urges to harm myself in order to "escape"...if I get back there once my stomach improves, I'm worried I may end up in the hospital. My pdoc also tried to convince me it would be nothing to be embarrassed about, that I should just go to the ER if I need to...I don't know that I could or would...but hopefully it won't come to that.
Thanks so much for asking about me, Keli...I'm very sorry if I worried you. I really appreciate all the responses to my last post, and I read them all and have been thinking about them...I just haven't figured things out enough yet to post detailed replies (which I know probably makes me something of a hypocrite, and I feel really bad about that). But I wanted to let everyone here know I really appreciate them.
I haven't been doing very well...I did go out to a silly movie last night with friends (something we've never done before in the middle of the week, being students with busy schedules)...I tried to act like I enjoyed it, but I could barely contain my tears and feelings of hopelessness.
I also saw my old pdoc yesterday, and she encouraged me to stick with med school as long as I'm interested in it and see how it goes. I'm not sure that that's the best idea, but I also doubt that making a big decision right now would be the best thing to do. She also changed the doses of my meds around and added an anti-anxiety med...which is OK with me...she wants to see if my current meds will help before trying a new one.
Which brings me to today...I'm thinking it must be from the med change interacting with my nervous stomach...although my stomach has never been this bad before. I started the new med doses last night, and since then my digestive system has been more upset than I think it's ever been in my life...I even tried drinking just a Boost shake, and that wouldn't even stay in! Sorry for the detail. I guess it may be a good thing because I'm too weak and feeling too bad physically to focus on my emotions for the moment.
It's been a scary few days, feeling like I could barely contain the urges to harm myself in order to "escape"...if I get back there once my stomach improves, I'm worried I may end up in the hospital. My pdoc also tried to convince me it would be nothing to be embarrassed about, that I should just go to the ER if I need to...I don't know that I could or would...but hopefully it won't come to that.
Thanks again...I hope you're doing well,
Rose