ack!!!! u r in a hard place. judge no man unless u can walk a mile in his shoes. your divorce is not her divorce and vice versa. i'm sure she would never wish the devastation she is causing on any one let alone her beloved children. she is hurting and in pain. u are in schock b/c of what happend to u, but it is a separate situation. if you can not support her during her time of need, then maybe u r a fair-weather friend? prove me wrong. good luck my dear. i have held off telling my BFF anything b/c she just would not understand my needs, my disappointments, my place in life, etc... your BFF trusts u unequivocally. be there for her.
Honestly, I can completely understand how you feel. I'm sure you are friends with your BFF's husband too, and are hurting for him, especially since you've gone through the same thing. And you don't understand, CAN'T understand how she could do this. All of us here know that if our A's are discovered, even our very best friends might turn against us.
I wouldn't call you a fair weather friend if you can't support her - this situation pushes a lot of buttons. But she does need you, and you have to decide whether you are up to this or not. I would be honest with her and tell her how her situation is bringing up a lot of pain from what happened to you. Tell her you love her (because I think you do and I think you're really struggling to try and help her) but tell her there are some things you can't really deal with right now - like hearing about her AP - not yet anyway. Tell her you will be checking on her and helping her as it regards her H and her children but you just can't meet or accept her AP yet - maybe in the future. Cry with her. Hug her. Share chocolate! (Hey we do that here!)
I think if you let out your feelings, she's your BFF and should be able to understand, especially since you went through what you went through. Don't desert her, but don't "support" everything about the situation that you just can't support. Just try to ease her pain and make sure she's OK. What else can we expect from a BFF? :-)
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
I'm glad we could help nikki. Coming here (which had to be pretty uncomfortable for you, considering what you went through) proves that you DO love your friend. I hope things eventually work out for her AND her poor family, especially her kids.
Proud to be a
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Honestly, I can completely understand how you feel. I'm sure you are friends with your BFF's husband too, and are hurting for him, especially since you've gone through the same thing. And you don't understand, CAN'T understand how she could do this. All of us here know that if our A's are discovered, even our very best friends might turn against us.
I wouldn't call you a fair weather friend if you can't support her - this situation pushes a lot of buttons. But she does need you, and you have to decide whether you are up to this or not. I would be honest with her and tell her how her situation is bringing up a lot of pain from what happened to you. Tell her you love her (because I think you do and I think you're really struggling to try and help her) but tell her there are some things you can't really deal with right now - like hearing about her AP - not yet anyway. Tell her you will be checking on her and helping her as it regards her H and her children but you just can't meet or accept her AP yet - maybe in the future. Cry with her. Hug her. Share chocolate! (Hey we do that here!)
I think if you let out your feelings, she's your BFF and should be able to understand, especially since you went through what you went through. Don't desert her, but don't "support" everything about the situation that you just can't support. Just try to ease her pain and make sure she's OK. What else can we expect from a BFF? :-)
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
I know this is the wrong forum for my questions, but I thank you
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've