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update...
| Fri, 09-10-2010 - 8:42am |
just wanted to give an update and thank everyone for their support while AP and i were going through a rough patch (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=58152.1&x=y) lately...

I'm not a guy, but I think you're over-analyzing. It sounds as though this went the way it usually would have? Maybe you're just reading more into everything because you sensed somewhat of a "rift" previously - maybe he never even thought of it as a "rift"?
I'm sure one of the guys will chime in. Nevereasy, where are you?? LOL...
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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You've
I read your original post. Thanks for the link.
thank you!
I'll jump at this since I am the one who usually shuts down. When I go into shut down mode to deal with things, coming out isn't always easy or fun. When you come out of shut down mode you have to re-open yourself to the pain, you have to deal with everyone around you, everyone making sure you are ok.
I'll give an example that really isn't related to this, but it will show you a glimpse of the world of shut down.
A few years ago my child had to go in for emergency surgery. We woke up one morning and he was screaming and writhing in pain. We took him to the dr, they had me rush him to the hospital and he was in surgery within an hour. I completely shut down. It was such a traumatizing and scary experience. He was whisked out of my arms, poked and prodded and it was absolutely horrible. Coming out of that shut down was incredibly hard for me. I shut everyone out but this child. When I finally came around and started talking to people everyone was asking questions, wanting to know if he was okay, how he was doing. It was so hard for me because it was like I had to relive that morning all over again, I had to go through the emotions again. I shut down again.
When people shut down they don't allow their emotions to overcome them. When I come out of shut down I will be distant, and won't always talk much. He is probably still trying to process everything that has happened to him (which was A LOT) and just trying to figure out how to integrate himself back into everyday life. It's not always an easy adjustment. He also has to let his "walls" down to allow people back into his life, thus making himself vulnerable to pain, again. He is opening himself back up to relive and deal with the pain/hurt/anger/etc.
I think you are over-analyzing, but that is easy for me to say as I'm not in the situation. It's harder to realize you are over-analyzing things when its YOU. I think his actions do speak louder than his words. The one thing that stuck out to me is the part where you said you missed him and he just pulled you closer. HE MISSED YOU TOO! Men aren't good with expressing words - he's telling you HE MISSED YOU TOO! Just in his own way!
Enjoy it!
Modified because I apparently can't spell or create coherent thoughts this morning!
Edited 9/10/2010 11:54 am ET by simplieconfused
Edited 9/10/2010 11:55 am ET by simplieconfused