Broken Heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2010
Broken Heart
8
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 9:49am

Have you ever read the statistics of an affair? They are pretty depressing. The average affair lasts 6 months. An affair usually ends because of a lack of intimacy and always ends once the affair is found out.



I suppose my H isn't all that bad. I can get used to the once a month sunday bj's I guess. The criticism, the putting all others ahead of me..it's not that bad. I got used to it before..but the hurt I can't get used to. I was foolish to do this.



My Ap is the sweetest man I have ever met. It is taking every inch of strength I have to just let him go.



It hurts so much.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 10:19am
Hugs-I'm afraid I'm right there with you. My EAP has just suddenly stopped communicating with me. After returning from his vacation and us catching up on things on Tuesday, I have not heard a peep. I have sent a few emails and no response. That is very unusual for him. I am trying to keep it together, but it is hard. I feel like I could just cry at the drop of a hat. I knew we would say good bye next week because he is switching job sites and I knew it would be hard for me because I am very attached to him. I didn't expect it to end this way, but I guess he just couldn't deal with where things were heading/where I wanted them to go and the guilt after returning from vacation with his W. This sucks! I don't want to be with my H either so that just compounds things even more. I'll be thinking
about you and know that you are not the only one...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 10:23am

Hi Eliza,



I'm sorry your going through this pain. I know it hurts & as much as

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 10:26am

Awww Eliza and Jersey - I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I know you're both grieving AND you both are feeling powerless - two very hard emotions to deal with. If you want to take your power back, you could decide here and now that it is OVER for you, no matter what your APs do. Decide that YOU are ending it here and now. IF you really do this and are determined, you could post at EAS where they really do get you through every day! You have to know that this is IT and be ready to go NC if you want them to help you over there.

I wish you both a lot of love and strength. (((HUGS))) I hope you both find whatever it is you need to do what's right for you!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 10:39am
That is great advice Lexi..but I can't. I can't do it. I am going to respect his wishes, I know he has a lot to deal with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 11:04am

Hi Eliza

I recently read a post that made me feel better:

'Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.'

Hope this makes you feel better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 2:08pm

You know what Lexi? You are right. There are a lot of things he is saying that don't add up, but I am not the type to force someone to love me..at least enough to tell me to my face.



Your advice is good and I am going to take it. I am going to take my power back and own it. I am done here and now.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 3:45pm
(((HUGS))) again Eliza. Keep us updated!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
In reply to: elizachigirl
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 10:14pm

((((Hugs)))) Eliza!



Well, guess I should take comfort in having beat some of the statistics: we've been together for longer than six months, and managed to stay together (not sure where we're at right now, though) through a d-day...



Sounds like your H needs to step up to the plate!

anotherseyes