Old habits die hard.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Old habits die hard.....
1
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 4:36pm

So its been up and down w/ AP since our blow out in July cause of our wrecked 1 year anniversary plans. he has attempted to fix the hurt caused that day (if you just catching up, he bailed on our night just an hour before our plans).... he has taken on a make up night and we are in search of a special ring for me. im going to vegas next month and he wants me to buy it while i am there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 6:11pm

The only way you'll ever REALLY know "why" is if you have some counseling I think Diva. You're not alone or uncommon here. Some people like (or get something) out of the beginning of a relationship - the "new R high" of infatuation - that causes them to keep having "new" relationships. Sometimes they end the old one first and sometimes they don't! The thing is, when it's a new R that you get addicted to, you will never be happy when the R settles into a more comfortable one. You'll always be looking for the next high. So you have to figure out what it is in YOU that makes a comfortable relationship "not enough". Why do you have to have another person chasing you? Do you think you have to prove that you're attractive and desirable? Does it validate something inside of you? These are all questions a therapist could help you answer. The thing is - even when you find out "why", it won't change your actions without real work and re-thinking.

If you decide to continue on the road with your old friend, remember that you will only get this high from it for so long, and then you'll feel kinda "itchy" and restless and empty again when you need another rush - it won't truly make you happy in the long run. Maybe a little introspection, on your own if you don't want to go to therapy, could help you figure out what it is you're really looking for?

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