Suspicious spouses

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Suspicious spouses
18
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 11:33am

The week that my dh is going out of town is fast coming up. My AP and I had planned on spending lots of time together, including one night. After this we were going to stop the PA. My dh and AP and his dw are friends and usually spend a few weekends together during the summer. AP and I have been avoiding it and any contact between the spouses because we didnt' want her to know my dh was going away. We thought we had it hidden until he told me yesterday she was questioning him on it. She wanted to know why he's been hiding her from dh and I, why he hadn't told her dh was leaving, and that he better not plan on coming out here. I am waiting until Monday to hear the whole story. At the same time my dh doesn't seem to be too worried but has told me he will have eyes watching me,then of course says he is joking. It used to be nothing for AP and I to hang out before we got physical but DH caught me lying about the length of time I was with him and got suspicious. SInce then as far as dh knows we don't talk privately anymore.

I'm worried they are talking behind our backs and have a plan to catch us. I think my dh is not worried about leaving because he's going to have AP's dw watching us. She seems to have already foiled our plan for the overnight but we are still getting together during the day when she is at work.

What do you think the chances are of us being set up? I don't think either of us are too willing to give this up since we know it's the lst time we will have this chance.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 3:18pm

OK, just to let you know, a friend of mine pretended to go off to work as usual and then she followed her DH when she was suspicious. It's really not hard to follow someone. Yes he got caught. There are a host of other things one could do, including buying a rather inexpensive GPS to attach to the car - no following necessary, it'll tell her exactly where he went - all week. There are numerous other things one could do. An acquaintance of mine had a computer savvy friend come over and break into her H's e-mail, then she printed up all (very damning) e-mails and presented them to her H's AP's husband also.

Thing is, if spouses are suspicious, it's only a matter of time before you get caught.

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 3:37pm
I agree, to me it says red flags all over the place...Be careful if you do go through with things because this could be disaster for everyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 5:23pm
I agree with whats been said already. RED FLAGS!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:28am

I think you should go with your gut feeling. It could never steer you wrong but I'd be very, very careful. Like the other posters, never under estimate a suspicious partner. There are people who would go through great lengths to get the evidence they want and need to put there suspicions to rest. Thank goodness I don't drive and I always make sure H is at work but then again you never know who's watching so try to be 2 steps ahead at all times.



Best of luck!



 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 11:00am

I see major red flags!

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 11:21am
The red flags make me nervous, there are so many of them. Normally he would bail if he thought there was a chance of getting caught. He has cancelled the one overnight but is really trying to have the other one that we had already cancelled. Neither of us are willing to give up our time since it's the end of it. I just hope it all ends good, or your right another, we will have lots of time to spend together!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 1:33pm
Just sending you hugs and good wishes.Be careful !
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 2:20pm

Thanks Chick.

Maybe deep down I'm hoping we get caught. I don't know. Even if we did I'm not sure what the end result would be. I know he would be devestated and I don't know what that would mean for me. I am in no way trying to get caught on purpose but for me it wouldn't be the end of the world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 7:03pm

...I know he would be devestated and I don't know what that would mean for me...



i think

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 8:47pm

I hope I don't sound like a B when I say this but I am very skeptical when you say this is the last time. I think that maybe you are using that as an excuse to take this big risk. I don't believe this is the last time.



Do you love him?



Does he love you?



If yes to both, then no way is the last time.



So, maybe it is better to be uber cautious instead of risking getting caught and then losing him for good.

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