I want to cut contact, but can I do it??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2009
I want to cut contact, but can I do it??
2
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 1:39am

I posted this in another forum but perhaps it's more appropriate here?



I have a male "friend" that I have known for years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 7:42am

You're probably right and he probably does know how you feel. The reason he keeps coming back, like clockwork as you say, is because it makes him feel good to know that you DO feel this way. And maybe he feels the same way, but you've already decided that to head down that road is NOT what you want to do, and seeing him makes it too hard!

I don't want to send you from place to place, but the best place to initiate and stick to a "no contact" plan is EAS (ending an affair support). Even though you've managed to keep from having a full blown affair - even a full blown emotional affair, since you have little contact - it is still an emotional affair because of your feelings about him, and it's just as hard for you to completely end this thing as anyone else who has those feelings. At EAS they talk about the ex-AP "fishing", that is showing up or initiating contact after periods of no contact. They will give you ways to handle it (usually by NOT answering!) They tell you how to interact when you HAVE to - for work or groups you belong to - that is called "low contact". And there's a world of knowledge in their "healing library" over there. Think about copying and pasting your post over there sweetie.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2008
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 7:47am

Honey, you've got a yen for him. Obviously he wants you too. Unlike many potential APs he's being patient and playing the long game. Your mind tells you not to hang around but your glands are telling you something else. At least that's how I see it. Have been where you are many times, only I'm a little clearer in my own mind that when I say / think 'I don't want him' I know I'm just kidding myself!

-jana