anyone try to move closer to AP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
anyone try to move closer to AP?
5
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:44pm
MY AP lives out of state. We have been having our affair for about a year. We are very close. My H and I are relocating to the same state my AP resides. I feel the need to live in the same town as AP. My H likes that part of the state, so there really isn't a whole lot of convincing needed. How bad is it to live in the same town? We are very discrete and respectful.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 11:18pm

hi miles, welcome!



Hmmm, well my AP and I live in the same small town. As a matter of fact, he lives about five minutes away from me on foot....so darned convenient!



However, if you don't want to be discovered it might make it more difficult to be together....I think you would have to be extremely careful.



My AP and I are past that stage, everybody and their brother knows we're together....I have to admit that if feels very good to realize that everybody knows that we're a couple (I daresay, even his W might be aware of it too).



How big/small will the town be? I think that will probably determine your level of contact....and again, if you don't want a D-day, be very careful.



Let us know how it goes!



benska

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 7:28am
That's VERY tricky, and it depends on a lot of things. If you were driving with him there, would it be OK to be seen with him? Do people, and your H, know that you are friends, in other words? Is your AP married? If so, does his wife know you are friends? If there is no "legitimate" connection between you, living in the same town is a disadvantage. You would have to meet OUT of town to be sure no one saw you together. I am very glad my OM lives a good 35 min. drive away. I feel somewhat comfortable going to lunch with him and driving with him there. I KNOW that's one thing that could blow up in my face someday, but I also know there's no way my H or family would be in that area of the state (maybe just a friend of ours someday might run into me, that's what I worry about). On the bad side, if my car ever broke down or I got a ticket in that area it would be very hard to explain why I was there.

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:45am
We live in the same town and its not a problem. We are also very respectful of our own families and have never been in the way or caused any problems for each other. We know whats off limits and when we can be together and when we just cant be, due to family obligations. It can be done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 12:24pm
AP is in a totally different state and it's a good thing because we would for sure get in trouble being so close and it being so easy to see each other. Our schedule sucks for sure since he drives semis and his time is limited as is his location...but....maybe one day, we will get a night together or more time then we have now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 1:06pm
We live in the same town, about 5 exits from each other on the freeway. However, our town has over 500+ thousand people living in it. I personally wouldn't if it was a small town - for fear of being seen together. AP and I very rarely get in a car together. We never go to lunch or anything like that. We are pretty secretive in that way.