just wondering... guys opinion welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
just wondering... guys opinion welcome!
8
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:17am

squirrels are making me a little crazy this week...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 12:16pm
I dont know that anyone can answer that except your AP. If he decides to leave his M ,it will depend on how unhappy he really is. I find most times, folks are not 100% happy but things are not bad enough to make that change, unless they have a d-day and that causes the D (which is what happened with my AP).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 2:07pm

I tend to agree with tangled. I wouldn't get my hopes up that AP will leave his M. I know while I am not 100% happy in my M, I would never leave H for AP. EVER. Even if AP was single, I would not do it.

I think you need to proceed cautiously with this. Are you sure you are ready to give up your M for something that may or may not be? I think the general advice given is make sure you are leaving your M because of the M, not because of the A.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 2:23pm
i should have clarified it in my original post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 7:54pm
His saying that he doesn't want to lose you or break your heart does not mean that he will leave his wife. It means that he will do everything (well maybe not leave his M) to keep you in his life and he won't ever be the one to break up with you. If he hasn't mentioned wanting to leave by now, I don't think he ever will. He may think he can make you happy with things the way they are. You have to decide if it's enough. When you're single it will be very different for you. He might leave but chances are he won't. Expect that, and then you might be happily surprised if he leaves. Better than expecting the opposite and being bitterly disappointed.

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 8:57pm

Hi Nahs77,



mm here in an A..



Your situation has changed, but his hasn't and most likely won't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:48pm

Mm here who just moved away from AP after 4 chaotic years. 700 miles that finally put the nail in the coffin. I wanted to leave my family and shebwanted to leave hers. But I backed out and stayed. You have to ask your AP to be more specific. But at least you say you are not seeking a divorce for AP. That's good. I was going to leave only for AP. She wants out of her M. She kinda proved that when she had sex with another guy when I told her I wasn't leaving my family.

But you need to really nail down your APs intentions. So at least you'll know your situation. But then take that with a little grain of salt. Sorry but most people who have affairs are champion liars.

You Cant Lose What You Never Had



Muddy Waters
"You Cant Lose What You Never Had" ---

Muddy Waters
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 9:03am

I am not a guy but here are my 2cents.

I am MW with S AP.If I was planning to leave my M even for myself,I would still want to know where does AP stand in that especially if he was wanting a real life future with me.He is S,but that doesnt mean that I dont want any kind of commitment from him.I am not going into the typical debate this board goes into the moment a S AP is in picture -- he is S so is free etc etc.I would want him to be by my side as a D is no childs play at any age.
Your AP is MM and most likely will back off when the time comes.In situations like this,women tend to make decisions on emotions rather than keeping things in perspective,else most of us wont be here.Very rarely would a woman be strong enough to deal herself and she would be the one to not fall into the trap,for lack of better word.As for men,mostly its the thrill they are after and sorry to say,if not me or you,someone else will catch their eye and fall in the trap.They usually are not looking for the main dish,just something on the side.

You are being right in taking D for you and your kids.Most MM,hell,many SM as well,are not reliable when it comes to the challenges of an A.

I certainly hope that your decision is not fogged by AP or the A itself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 4:16pm
First it is for you and you alone what anyone else thinks or does is not in your control. Leave and go one with your life an do not depend on anything but yourself.
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